the-f-word.org

Name or screen name? (if you use a screen name, is there any significance to it?)

Alice is an assumed name. There is no particular significance to it - it's just the first one that I thought of.

How did you find this message board?

Through the Disordered Times.

Age, gender, family status (married, single, in a relationship, have kids, etc...)?

I'm twenty-one and in a relationship with a close friend from university. I'm not sure how long we have been in a relationship for, as it seemed to happen without either of us noticing.

Are you a diet survivor or are you in recovery from an eating disorder?

I have an eating disorder. I don't know whether I'm in recovery or not. Sometimes getting better does not seem like such a desirable thing.

Got any hobbies or interests?

Reading, learning other languages, and creative writing used to be my big hobbies. I say 'used to' because the eating disorder and anxiety have taken over and it's hard to be interested in anything at the moment.

Where do you live or where did you grow up?

The Middle East. Saudi Arabia, to be precise.

Are you in or did you go to college? What was your major? And/or what do you do for a living?

I studied English Literature at university. At the moment I have a post as a learning support worker in a special needs college for people with learning disabilities (aged 16 - 25).

Do you have a favorite quotation?

There are too many to choose from. At the moment I find myself mentally repeating a line from Tennyson's 'Lotus-Eaters' quite frequently:

"Courage!" he said, and pointed toward the land,
"This mounting wave will roll us shoreward soon."

Welcome to the board



I'm kind of struck by the irony in these two sentences. Recovery is scary because for many people, an eating disorder is a crutch, a way of coping with larger issues. I have never met or heard of anyone who has recovered -- and I mean, truly recovered -- who will say that they want to return to the hell of an eating disorder. There are things I miss about my eating disorder, but its not the disorder itself I miss, but rather the support I felt it gave me. Whenever I feel like this, I remind myself that it was a false support and I can't have the "good" without also the bad parts of an eating disorder. Anyway, here's hoping that you begin to view recovery more optimistically soon.

And wow, the middle east? Do you still live there? And your job sounds very fulfilling.

Welcome, Alice. Nice to see a Disordered Times reader posting here.