The-F-Word.org

That Sarah Haskins is more prolific than the Octomom.  Here’s catching up with the latest Target Women spoofs (h/t Feministing).

“If you want to take my chocolate away from me, you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead, sticky, delicious hands. Chocolate: more important to women than air.”

Yawn, I’m not into the Super Bowl or even football for that matter, so yesterday saw me doing some winter cleaning in the basement. Yes, inhaling dust and particles while going through boxes that haven’t been opened since I moved in four years ago proved infinitisimally more interesting than watching a bunch of guys in tights slap each other on the ass. Luckily Sarah offered non-football fans a Super Bowl alternative with a round-up of her favorite past hits.

Speaking of Sarah Haskins… the funny woman of the internet made Bust magazine last month. I can’t find the article available online, so I scanned it in for your benefit — click for page one and page two. Target Women airs on Thursdays at 10 pm Eastern and Pacific Times at Current TV.

Have I mentioned how much I love Sarah Haskins?

I was somewhat surprised by the sheer numbers of folks who took the time to share their experiences with the acai berry diet scam. The New Year’s always brings with it a host of weight-loss shams and shenanigans, so I thought I’d add a few of my own to the melee.

A group of British researchers — two dietitians, a pediatrician and a historian — revisited the Dickensian diet of orphan Oliver Twist in a new study published online last month in the British Medical Journal. Based on the description of Oliver’s diet – three pints of watery gruel each day, two onions a week and half a bread roll on Sunday for an average of just more than 400 calories a day – the group found that the Oliver Twist diet would guarantee radical weight loss… and serious illness and nutritional deficiencies.

The Discovery Channel aired a series on the human body a few months ago. In one episode, a slightly overweight man swam the 22-mile English Channel. He had gained 16 pounds of fat during training to serve as a fuel source during the14-hour swim, and lost 14 pounds of that upon reaching the opposite shore. He burned about 60,000 calories; sucked in 20 gallons of air; and his heart pumped seven times more blood than our hearts are doing right now. And there’re no worries about sharks in these waters. At an average swim season (July – Sept.) temperature of 14 – 18 degrees Celsius (57 – 64 degrees Farenheit), the channel is much too cold for most pesky predators.

A 2000 survey of 5-year-olds found that the majority would rather lose an arm than be fat.* Another 2006 study, conducted by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University, found that five percent of the 4,000 respondents would rather lose a limb than be fat. Nearly half of the people responding to the Yale survey said they would give up a year of their life rather than be fat.
* “Tipping The Scales Of Justice: Fighting Weight-Based Discrimination,” by Sandra Solovay, 2000.

This video is a marketing gimmick for JC Penney, but it’s still pretty funny.

I was telling Brandon last night about how I will actually miss George Bush for the sole reason that while he lacks in, oh, foreign and domestic leadership, economic acumen, basic historical knowledge and understanding of world events, oratorial skills and generally in IQ overall, he’s at least provided lots of fodder for late night TV comedy. Fortunately, we have Sarah Palin to fill the gap. There’s nothing like ceremoniously pardoning a Thanksgiving fowl while a turkey bloodbath ensues in the background.

If you’ve suddenly lost your appetite for turkey carcass, check out this Newsweek article about Thanksgiving Day’s forgotten and forlorn: vegetarians. Even if you’re not vegetarian, you might identify with the mixture of unease, paranoia and defensive kinds of feelings that comes from having others watch and scrutinize your food choices at the family feast.

Another great read is an open letter opined by a college junior and published in Southern Illinois University’s student newspaper. Read the rest of this entry »

The latest from the indomitable Sarah Haskins.

I drive a sporty yet fuel-efficient silver sedan with plenty of room for the important stuff, you know, bike rack, rollerblades, 40-pound bags of dirt and mulch, shopping finds… My husband has a gas-guzzling Jeep he won’t let me drive. How about you?