How to survive Thanksgiving when you’re in eating disorder recovery

24th November 2009

How to survive Thanksgiving when you’re in eating disorder recovery

posted in Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, Bulimia, ED-NOS, Eating Disorders, Purging Disorder, Rachel, Recovery |

Thanksgiving is perhaps the holiday that inspires the most amount of anxiety and fear in the hearts of those (Americans) with eating disorders, especially those of us with bingeing disorders like bulimia or BED who know we can eat the feast twice over and then some. We’ve discussed tips and advice for the holidays here before, but I got a note from Denver-based Eating Recovery Center this week with even more coping skills for sufferers and caregivers that I thought helpful to share.

The Eating Recovery Center offers these five recommendations to help individuals in recovery confidently manage holiday festivities:

Shift the focus from food and counting calories to celebrating and spending time with loved ones.

Stay away from any kind of good food/bad food talk.

Surround yourself with people who have healthy relationships with their bodies, food and weight. When attending gatherings, bring a trusted family member or friend along with you if you can.

Keep lines of communication open and involve your family and friends in your challenges, victories and goals.

Before attending a holiday gathering, consider calling the host to ask what foods will be served. Bring along “safe food” if necessary.

During the holiday season, support from family and friends can significantly impact an individual’s ability to effectively handle these stressful situations. For those supporting someone with an eating disorder through the holidays, the Eating Recovery Center offers these suggestions:

Ask your family member or friend what you can do to best support them.

Ease into the holiday season by focusing on activities that don’t involve food, such as putting up decorations or sending cards.

Stress levels can escalate during a holiday gathering. Offering a loved one the chance to “escape” for a few moments can help keep emotions in check.

Be conscious of the snacks and treats displayed during holiday times. Reducing the availability of snacks can help your family member or friend maintain their regular eating schedule.

Have patience and express your continued support.

Feel free to share your own experiences and suggestions in the comments below.

UPDATE: Be sure to also check out today’s New York Times Well column on food, family and tension at Thanksgiving. The column addresses the ways in which family members can impose their own disordered eating onto others.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 24th, 2009 at 12:00 am and is filed under Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder, Bulimia, ED-NOS, Eating Disorders, Purging Disorder, Rachel, Recovery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

1 On November 24th, 2009, spoonfork38 said:

Thank you so much for posting this–any holiday that puts together food and family dynamics can be seriously stressful.

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 11:04 am

2 On November 24th, 2009, Alyssa (The 40 year-old) said:

I used to dread the family get-togethers. Nowadays, Hubby, kids and I spend the day doing something fun (usually outdoors), and then get together with everyone else in the evening. This year, we’re going it alone, so it’ll be nice and low-key. I may even make it to a yoga class in the morning.

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 12:18 pm

3 On November 24th, 2009, Filmi Girl said:

I got kind of panicked just reading this! Fortunately, Thanksgiving has mellowed a lot over the last few years but I definitely remember freaking out under the “Why aren’t you eating Turkey?” or (the story of my childhood) “You’ve had enough – put that back.”

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm

4 On November 24th, 2009, Kelly said:

Thanks for posting a great article!

I have a couple questions –

1. In the final bullet point of the first list, what is a “safe food”?

2. My husband, children and I don’t do good food / bad food talk at all. My mother does, kind of – she talks about fat, “oil”, calories. Should I assume there may be others at the table who have eating disorders or are in recovery, and try to get her to shut up, or…?

Thanks for a great post!

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 3:11 pm

5 On November 24th, 2009, Bronwyn said:

@Kelly- I’ve always felt a “safe” food is one that you are comfortable and able to eat without guilt or triggering your eating disorder (for example, if you have BED and your choice binge food is oreo cookies, oreos would not be a safe food). It can also be foods you are OK eating if you’re vegetarian or something like that. If you’re worried at all that there won’t be foods you are comfortable or able to eat at a holiday gathering, it’s always a good idea to bring something you know you’ll be able to eat, eating disorder worries or no.

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

6 On November 24th, 2009, Rachel said:

2. My husband, children and I don’t do good food / bad food talk at all. My mother does, kind of – she talks about fat, “oil”, calories. Should I assume there may be others at the table who have eating disorders or are in recovery, and try to get her to shut up, or…?

I don’t think such endless obsessing is healthy (or remotely interesting) even for those without eating disorders. Is there an artful way that you can change the conversation?

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 6:16 pm

7 On November 24th, 2009, Kelly said:

Rachel, she doesn’t “endlessly obsess”, but she does bring it up. In the past I have just changed the conversation (or let the crickets chirp, as it were) like you suggest. But I was wondering if when there are more people around it would be better to be more direct and name it as food-talk and ask it to stop… or talk to her ahead of time. Like the article says though… sometimes people keep talking about it even if you’ve asked them not to (and they’ve agreed).

I have an idea. I could just bring a giant hand-held airhorn to the table and put it on my lap. The minute someone starts this kind of talk, just blast it.

Anyone else, feel free to use my awesome idea.

In all seriousness: Bronwyn, thanks for the definition / explanation!

posted on November 24th, 2009 at 6:34 pm

8 On November 25th, 2009, Crimson Wife said:

I wonder if the mom-in-law referenced in the NYT article about starving the woman who just had a c-section is friends with my MIL. Fortunately I was able to get up to make myself a sandwich in addition to the salad prepared by my MIL, but I shouldn’t have had to do that

posted on November 25th, 2009 at 3:21 am

9 On November 28th, 2009, Amy (No More Thinspo) said:

I’m odd…I have bulimia and will begin outpatient treatment this week. But I see Thansgiving as the lesser of the evils. It’s one meal, and maybe some left overs if you’re hosting…

Where as Christmas, Halloween, even Valentine’s entails…all kinds of junk food in the home, in the stores, offered in school or at the work place, AND left overs. For days on end.

But I plan to apply these tips the coming Christmas season…

posted on November 28th, 2009 at 2:57 pm

10 On November 23rd, 2010, Coping With The Holidays With An Eating Disorder | Weightless said: