“Precious” star Gabby Sidibe: “I love the way I look”

29th September 2009

“Precious” star Gabby Sidibe: “I love the way I look”

posted in Body-Affirming, Fat Acceptance, Health, Nutrition & Fitness, Mental Health, Rachel, Television & Film |

Gabourey Gabby Sidibe - Precious Reader Lenore posted a link to this awesome feature on Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe, star of the upcoming film Precious. If you saw the trailer I posted last week you know that Gabby doesn’t just play a 350-pound character — she is a 350-pound character. All of which makes her astronomical self-confidence all that more amazing. Here’s a snippet from the interview:

“They [the media] try to paint the picture that I was this downtrodden, ugly girl who was unpopular in school and in life, and then I got this role and now I’m awesome,” says the actress. “But the truth is that I’ve been awesome, and then I got this role.”

“She is unequivocally comfortable in her body, in a very bizarre way. Either she’s in a state of denial or she’s so elevated that she’s on another level,” said [director] Lee Daniels “I had no doubt in my mind that she had four or five boyfriends, easily.”

Ah, yes, her weight. When Sidibe was 11 years old, an aunt offered to pay for a cruise if she lost 50 pounds. Friends and family continue to pressure her about it. “I still hear it from people who don’t know that they’re pretty close to hurting my feelings,” she says, “people who care about me, like this one friend. I was eating a light potato chip, and she eyeballed me like I was the most disgusting thing she’d ever seen. She says, ‘Every time you want to put something disgusting in your mouth, think of the designers who won’t make a dress for you because you’re fat.’ ”

But at some point, says Sidibe, “I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don’t like myself, there’s no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I’m fine with it. And if my body changes, I’ll be fine with that.”

…she says she never forgot that Precious was a character.“They were talking to her, they were not talking to me,” says Sidibe of her onscreen abusers. “I know I’m not a piece of shit or some random fat girl. I’m Gabourey Sidibe.”

I find the the utter confusion on the part of Lee Daniels to be comically tragic in a way. Either Gabby is in a “state of denial” — meaning, she doesn’t know she’s fat and should act accordingly — or “she’s so elevated that she’s on another level” — thus making her oddly unique among her fat girl peers. Gabby is unique in her radiant self-esteem and size acceptance, but that doesn’t mean that she should stand alone. If we taught more girls to love and accept themselves and to care for their bodies we could have lots of dauntless Gabbys milling about in the world.

I’m just dreading the moment when Precious really gains full national attention — and I have no doubt that it will — and Gabby is thrust into the national spotlight as a poster child of childhood obesity. The fact that she’s black and with concern is rising about the disproportionate numbers of obesity among black folk makes her all the more likely to be used as a pawn in the war on fat people. Remember the Jordin Sparks debacle? Jordin probably weighs less than half of what Gabby weighs and still debates raged as to whether she is too fat to be a good role model for youth — her talent and character proved completely irrelevant. That these debates were sparked by a neurotic, publicity-starved flack who herself harbors highly suspect disordered eating habits was of no matter to media outlets, who picked up the story and ran with it. What these naysayers often don’t realize however, is that mental health is every bit as important as physical health, with the former sometimes trumping the latter. And if hating yourself and despising your body ever worked to encourage weight-loss, we’d be a nation of thin people already.

As for those four or five boyfriends, Gabby says she doesn’t tolerate being dissed. When one guy lied to her about being out with another girl, Gabby deleted his number from her cell. “Don’t, don’t, don’t! I’m not a regular girl,” she said righteously. “I just got off a plane from France. You need to check yourself.”

Photo: Andreas Laszlo Konrath, New York Magazine

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 9:33 am and is filed under Body-Affirming, Fat Acceptance, Health, Nutrition & Fitness, Mental Health, Rachel, Television & Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On September 29th, 2009, Kelly said:

“She is unequivocally comfortable in her body, in a very bizarre way.”

Because heaven forbid she not feel total and utter shame and hide herself away because she is fat. Daniels’s use of the word “bizarre” speaks volumes about his own attitudes toward fat people. I’m actually kind of amazed that he made this movie because, at least from the trailer, it seems to focus on the humanity of Precious, not the freakshow aspect of her size that other movies featuring fat people seem intent on highlighting.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 9:57 am

2 On September 29th, 2009, Christine said:

Gabby doesn’t just play a 350-pound teenager — she is a 350-pound teenager.

***

FYI: she’s not a teenager, she’s 26.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:04 am

3 On September 29th, 2009, Shannon Russell said:

What a great article. I fear for her too, once she hits the spotlight. Hopefully her confidence is as solid as it seems and she’ll be able to teach the world a thing or two.

Or else she’ll collapse under the pressure and the media will show off the “new and improved” Gabby in a more socially acceptable (meaning less fat) size. Stay tough Gabby!

Peace,
Shannon

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am

4 On September 29th, 2009, Rachel said:

@Christine: Thanks, I meant to write “character.”

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:12 am

5 On September 29th, 2009, V said:

“I know I’m not… some random fat girl.”

WTF. So ‘random fat girls,’ meaning not ‘Gabourey Sidibe’ are okay to berate? “I just got off a plane from France. You need to check yourself.” It sounds like she’s a little self-absorbed. I’m totally down with her loving herself, that’s awesome. But you don’t have to be a bitch.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am

6 On September 29th, 2009, buttercup said:

V, I’d rather have her be a bitch than be the self-loathing fatty the world tells her to be.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:49 am

7 On September 29th, 2009, Rachel said:

Ditto to what buttercup said. I wish more fat women had a touch of Gabby’s bitchiness.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:50 am

8 On September 29th, 2009, Shinobi said:

Okay, I love her. She may begin to eclipse my Rachel Maddow girlcrush.

It’s not bitchy to expect a little bit of respect. If most “regular” girls demanded respect the way she does, she probably wouldn’t have said that. But the fact is that a lot of women and girls get pushed around because they are encouraged to be passive for fear of being “Bitchy.”

As a proud member of the Heartless Bitches Association I am pleased to see her standing proud.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 11:56 am

9 On September 29th, 2009, Mina said:

““I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don’t like myself, there’s no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I’m fine with it. And if my body changes, I’ll be fine with that.””

This is beautiful, absolutely beautiful and I’ll be quoting it the next time somebody says something about my weight.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 12:16 pm

10 On September 29th, 2009, Bree said:

I wouldn’t call her remarks and attitude bitchy. Being a 350-lb woman, something that I can definitely relate to, our size and our very worth as a woman is constantly belittled and mocked, seen as disgusting and bizarre. If Gabby Sidibe has to be more assertive to get her point across, I won’t give her flak for doing so.

Given the director’s comments, us really big gals have a loooong way to go in gaining respect and even being seen as a human being and not some alien freak of nature.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

11 On September 29th, 2009, notthemarimba said:

LOVE this woman. I agree with the idea that we could all stand to be a tad more “bitchy”.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 1:05 pm

12 On September 29th, 2009, V said:

It’s just like she’s protesting just a little much. Of course, I’m not sure how much shit she’s had to put up with in her life, so it might be unfair to call her a bitch. Maybe it’s her defense mechanism. I can certainly understand that. Better to fight back than just take it.

What I’m curious about, is there really that much of a difference in how a woman is treated whether she weighs 180, 200 or 350 pounds? I’m at 230 lbs and I actually very rarely get treated badly or disrespected. I expect respect, but I don’t feel the need to act like I’m better than the next fat girl. Then again, I’m not an actress in the spotlight for the first time and having people discussing me and my weight so publicly. Hm. Certainly a lot to think about.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 1:07 pm

13 On September 29th, 2009, Rachel said:

Upon further reading of Gabby’s comments, I don’t think that she’s trying to say that it’s okay to berate other “random fat girls” at all. Rather, I think that what she is saying is that she’s not your usual fat girl, the kind who’s internalized and projects the self-hatred and loathing society has come to expect of fat people and especially fat women. What I hear Gabby saying is, “Hold up. I’m not your stereotypical fat girl who hates herself and her body. I have value. I have worth. And you damn well better treat me that way.”

14 On September 29th, 2009, Rachel said:

What I’m curious about, is there really that much of a difference in how a woman is treated whether she weighs 180, 200 or 350 pounds?

For myself personally, I have noticed a HUGE difference in the way I was treated at 300-pounds and the way I am treated at my current weight of about 195-pounds. At my heaviest weight, I would frequently receive snide comments and harassing remarks about my body and I rarely receive them now. I also feel like I am now more respected by sales clerks and colleagues. But I also recognize that it might not just be about the weight. I feel better about myself than I did then and so I probably project more self-confidence and assertiveness. I’m also older and have a more stylish, professional haircut and wardrobe. Nonetheless, I do think that my weight is a factor in the way I was treated then and now.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

15 On September 29th, 2009, Charlotte said:

I think I have a new hero! I wish I had some of her assertiveness.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 1:38 pm

16 On September 29th, 2009, Ruth said:

Respectfully V, I think you’re reading too much into her remarks, vis a vis, the bitch factor.

I took “random fat girls” to mean “headless fatties”.

Maybe the France thing comes off as a little classist, but to give Gabby the benefit of the doubt, I think she’s just saying that she has attained the finer things in life and nobody should assume otherwise just because she’s fat.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 2:12 pm

17 On September 29th, 2009, FatNSassy said:

Ugh! I can completely see that state of denial comment coming from someone who has been around the entertainment industry. That fat is worse than death is so completely engrained in their mentality they can’t envision a large person happy with their body. They are so in tuned with what everyone else thinks and so let others define them, it is a concept they just can’t wrap their heads around it.
Their deficiency!

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 2:22 pm

18 On September 29th, 2009, PlusSizedFeminist said:

I LOVE HER. Go ahead girl. Let them fat-phobic Hollywood idiots know that you are here to stay. Being fat does not make you exempt from receiving respect and love. And let no one tell you otherwise.

posted on September 29th, 2009 at 5:22 pm

19 On September 30th, 2009, Lenore said:

Yay, I’m glad you liked that article as much as I did! I, too, was irritated by the director’s confusion over her confidence, but I wasn’t really surprised either. I mean, it is showbiz after all. But Gabby’s outspoken self confidence and the positive tone of the article (supportive of her confidence, even, and not just not portraying her as a delusional spectacle) more than made up for it.

posted on September 30th, 2009 at 2:11 am

20 On October 2nd, 2009, Elaina said:

I really am curious to see this movie. I have reservations, because I have not been pleased by a lot of stuff coming from the Oprah/Tyler camp. And I have a real scepticism whenever I see the “welfare queen” character floating around out there- hmm. I guess I have apprehension about how far they will go down the “villifying Black women on welfare” path. But it does look like it’s worth watching, so I reckon I should save my judgement for when I actually see it.

@V: I would say that definitely there is relative privilege in thin-ness, and that this leads to a marked difference in treatment between women who are fat and women who are not. I am glad that your experience hasn’t been too dramatic; I wish I could say the same for myself! For me, it’s manifested not just in blatant hatefulness (like some random stranger saying something harassing in public), but also in very subtle ways (people (especially thin folks) giving unsolicited “compliments”- like “oh, have you lost weight? You look great”- or nutritional advice). It’s something I deal with pretty much daily.

It’s got a lot of parallels with living as a woman. Not all “harassment” is blatant- and people (especially men) make assumptions they frankly don’t have the right to make.

Don’t mean to ramble on! Just wanted to say “hi” and get in on the conversation.

posted on October 2nd, 2009 at 5:58 pm

21 On October 23rd, 2009, divajinx said:

“Given the director’s comments, us really big gals have a loooong way to go in gaining respect and even being seen as a human being and not some alien freak of nature.”

Bree, you couldn’t be more truthful. I used to be a skinny 5’8″, 117#er. I am now a PLUS sized, over 200#er and those people who once befriended me, now criticize me. I’ve actually lost more “friends” than I’ve kept. People are so shallow. I’m the same inside as I’ve always been but from what I’ve gathered – no one wants to be seen with a fatty! It makes them look bad. Huh? Since when? Who says skinny people can’t be friends with a fat person? That just sucks! We large women are just as great as a skinny-mini! No – we’re greater! There’s “more of us” to be greater!

posted on October 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 pm

22 On November 1st, 2009, lawgirl said:

It’s great that Gabourey refuses to hate herself and take bad treatment from others simply because of her weight, but it’s not great that she does not acknowledge that her weight is a problem — not socially, but physically. Being obsese, much less morbidly obese, which Gabourey is, has been proven to be a serious health problem in many, many ways, and for her, and others, to ignore or deny that is nothing less than stupidity. Nobody should be abused, insulted or discriminated against because they are overweight, whether by 15 pounds or 200 pounds, but it is not helpful or supportive to encourage them to live in denial about the very real danger their weight poses to them.

posted on November 1st, 2009 at 11:33 pm

23 On November 2nd, 2009, Rachel said:

@lawgirl: Obesity is said to be associated with certain health conditions (and even this is disputable), but it is not proven that just because one is obese, they will go on to develop these conditions. We do not know Gabourey’s medical history and I don’t think it fair to assume that she must have health problems due to her weight just because she weighs XX amount. What also has yet to be proven is that encouraging people to hate themselves has any real positive impact on health.

posted on November 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 am

24 On November 12th, 2009, Emma said:

She NEEDS to lose weight, her weight is shortening her life span! I myself am obese with a BMI of 41 and have suffered from eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, over exercising) and gained all the weight back, now I know I NEED to lose weight and I am trying FOR MY HEALTH, not for the opinions of others, I do NOT want to have more health problems then I already do!!

posted on November 12th, 2009 at 11:24 pm

25 On November 20th, 2009, Lisa said:

Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe is clearly wise beyond her twenty-something years. Sure, there are health issues with weight, but I’m a 42 year old woman who has never been overweight; I don’t smoke, and yet I take medication for high blood pressure. Sometimes it’s in the genes. Any decisions she makes in terms of diet and exercise should be between Gabby and her doctor, and the rest of us should appreciate her intelligence, talent, and beauty. She is clearly a strong person with great empathy, and while I know that full-blown super stardom can be tough on anyone, this young woman seems to have an amazing ability to keep herself grounded. Best of all, she believes in who she is, in her personality, and in her inner convictions. If she stays true to herself, I think she will be just fine. She is the most impressive individual I have seen in a long time. I wish her all the luck in the world, and I hope she continues to show her shining example of confidence to other young women.

posted on November 20th, 2009 at 10:39 pm

26 On December 19th, 2009, shamika j. p. said:

I absolutely love this lady I thought she was a teenager which gave me more reason to look up to her but also knowing she’s an adult and been like that since she was younger with so much confidence gives me the same amount I may not be as thick or as confident but I can learn to be I am comfortable with my self others aren’t im 17 and finally found a positive role model for me I love mrs. Gabby

posted on December 19th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

27 On January 3rd, 2010, Adrienna said:

Why is everyone falling all over themselves for this woman? She is by ANY physical standards hideously ugly- when I say that, I am NOT even referring to her WEIGHT. What kind of parts could she get as an actress looking the way she does? If she has confidence in herself – that’s great, good for her, but to become a real actress – that’s just unrealistic. Her physical appearance would greatly hinder her career! Actors and actresses are cast with an impression of how a character looks as well as talent – she was picked because of her appearance and I assume talent. I am happy she has an education and is self assured, however, an Oscar and a long term acting career – I don’t think so.

posted on January 3rd, 2010 at 2:49 pm

28 On March 15th, 2010, LovelyDay said:

I think Gabby is a beautiful person, and While I am happy to see that Gabby has a high self esteem and a great outlook on herself and life, her critics do make one good point: being 350 pounds is not a healthy weight for someone so young (or for anyone for that matter). For those who are encouraging Gabby to “stay strong” and “resist losing weight”, I ask you this: would you want your daughter or loved one to weigh 350+ pounds? Gabby is happy with herself now… lets see how she feels physically in about 10 years.

posted on March 15th, 2010 at 7:56 pm

29 On March 15th, 2010, Butter said:

Stop hating Adrienna, I applaud the confidence that this women has and does she need to loose weight? Maybe, but that is something that Gabby and her physician will have to address. Your supposed to have confidence whether your a size 2 or 22. Gabby has become a role model for many people and I’m here to say that self loathing weather again your a size 2 or 22 will not get you anywhere. Go head Gabby, do you!!

posted on March 15th, 2010 at 10:04 pm

30 On August 10th, 2010, wizowl said:

I just don’t quite know what to say about some of you guys. The way some of you talk, you think you know what is good for everybody. If you ever thought about it, you would find that assessing yourself is a full-time job and you still might not get it right. So far Gabby has accomplished far more than most of the rest of us. She doesn’t spend her time wondering about what others think of her — she just lives her life her way. Though many of you are in denial, but you hate to see that women whom you personally find unattractive seem to have the right stuff in spite of what you think. It is said that blonds have more fun, but quiet as it is kept, blonds don’t have all of the fun, and I can attest to that.

posted on August 10th, 2010 at 5:36 pm