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I was born a few years late to have ever sported a red leather jacket and rhinestone-studded glove, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t almost sprain an ankle trying to “Moon Walk” or wasn’t spooked silly by Thriller.  Michael Jackson was too big for any one decade to contain; his music transcended the pop culture zeitgeist and influenced generations in every reach of the globe.

In recent years, the King of Pop has come to be known more as Wacko Jacko for his strange dalliances with young boys and increasingly freakish figure.  Like the lead character of his appropriately-named Neverland ranch, Jackson, with his breathy girlish voice, frail figure and appeals of innocent love, appeared a perpetual man-child, a modern-day Peter Pan.  But Jackson may have had more in common with J.M. Barrie, the deeply conflicted and sexually-suspect author of Peter Pan, than he did with the boy who woudn’t grow up.  Despite an adoring public and legions of devotees, Jackson’s childhood appeared sad and lonely, which, perhaps, explains some of his later eccentricities.  In a 1993 interview with Oprah, he recalled his childhood, saying that in puberty — “very sad, sad years for me” — his father Joseph routinely called him ugly, “and I would cry every day.”  When Oprah asked if his father ever beat him, Jackson forced a smile even as he said yes, adding that sometimes when he saw his father coming, he’d become so upset that he threw up.  Then, in an aside to his father, added, “I’m sorry.  Please don’t be mad at me.”

After showing images of Jackson as a child, Oprah asked him, “when you look in the mirror now and see the image that looks back at you are there days when you say I kinda like this, or I like the way my hair…?”    Jackson replied, “no, I’m never pleased with myself. No, I try not to look in the mirror.”  He also told Oprah about his identification with another outsider, John Merrick, the unfortunately-disfigured, good-hearted creature known as the Elephant Man.  “I love the story,” he said.  “It reminds me of me a lot… It made me cry because I saw myself in the story.”  Jackson’s own disfigurement began shortly after his career went extraterrestial.  His skin went from a beautiful cocoa bronze to a pallid fishbelly white, his nose became narrower until his nostrils collapsed, he had permanent eyeliner tattooed around his eyes, his cheekbones lifted and his jawline squared.  A German plastic surgeon who agreed try and fix his rotting nose in the late 1990s said that Jackson was addicted to plastic surgery, which is, of course, a classic sign of body dysmorphia disorder.

Perhaps my most favorite song of Jackson’s is Man in the Mirror (lyrics after the jump).  I only wish that Jackson himself had ever been able to look in a mirror and like and accept the reflection staring back at him.

“Man In The Mirror”

I’m Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer’s Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man’s Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya’ Know
‘Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That’s Why I Want You To
Know

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I’ve Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It’s Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They’re Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody’s Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya’ See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That’s Why I’m Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I’m Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could’ve
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!

I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
(’Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can’t Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah
(Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I’m Gonna Make A Change
It’s Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On!
(Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself
You Know
You’ve Got To Stop It.
Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I’ve Got To Make That Change,
Today!
Hoo!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Got To
You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . .
Hoo!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I’ve Got To Get
That Man, That Man . . .
(Man In The Mirror)
You’ve Got To
You’ve Got To Move! Come
On! Come On!
You Got To . . .
Stand Up! Stand Up!
Stand Up!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift
Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . .
Come On!
(Man In The Mirror)
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know It!
You Know . . .
(Change . . .)
Make That Change.