The-F-Word.org

Forget shopping mall crowds, visiting the in-laws and finding that perfect gift for someone who seems to already have everything. The number one seasonal source of stress and anxiety for people with eating disorders (or who have disordered eating) is holiday eating. The National Eating Disorder Association offers 12 great tips to help navigate what can be a holiday minefield. Here’s a few of my favorites, in brief:

1. Eat regularly and in some kind of reasonable pattern. Avoid “preparing for the last supper.” Don’t skip meals and starve in attempt to make up for what you recently ate or are about to eat.

2. Worry more about the size of your heart than the size of your hips!

3. Discuss your anticipations of the holidays with your therapist, physician, dietitian, or other members of your treatment team so that they can help you predict, prepare for, and get through any uncomfortable family interactions without self destructive coping attempts.

4. If it would be a support or help to you, consider choosing one loved one to be your “reality check” with food, to either help plate up food for you, or to give you a reality check on the food portions which you dish up for yourself.

5. Stay active in your support group, or begin activity if you are currently not involved.

And, a few tips from my own experiences that have helped me:

1. If you have a relative/friend who insists on engaging in body hate talk or who feels the need to moralize the food choices of themselves or others…
– Don’t be an enabler. If someone bemoans the positively colossal size of their thighs, reply by complimenting their good features or highlighting a few of your own. Body hate talk often comes from a place of personal insecurity, but broadcasting it (with the expectation that others will join in on what has sadly become a bonding experience amongst women) isn’t helpful or constructive for either the broadcaster or those on the receiving end of the conversation.
– Change the subject or walk away. I try to do this as tactfully as I can, but in a way that nonetheless best preserves my own sanity.
– Be frank. Tell them that you have a history of eating disorders and/or body image issues and that you find such talk to be negative for your personal well being.

2. For people with binge eating disorder or bulimia, it can be difficult to survey the holiday feast knowing that you can easily eat it all twice over and then some. If you struggle with intuitive eating and are concerned about taking unnaturally large portion sizes, take cues from the serving sizes of others around you. Don’t make any food off-limits and don’t eat alone.

3. If you struggle with binging types of disorders, distract yourself after eating so that you’ll be less likely to purge. Check out my more general tips on how to reduce binging urges here.

4. If you struggle with the “safe” foods and “bad” foods dichotomy, focus on those foods you do feel comfortable eating, while also encouraging yourself to try new foods and foods you would otherwise shun.

5. If someone comments on what you’re eating, be brief and be firm. “Is that all you’re going to eat?” can be answered with a simple and emphatic answer of “Yes.” It’s my nature to be polite even to nosy people, but don’t feel as if you have to be — the intrusive commenter certainly isn’t worried about civility. Sometimes humor works, too. “You really shouldn’t be eating that..” “Why, is it poisoned?”

6. The holidays are a time to catch up with friends and family you don’t see often and reunions can sometimes invite comments on your appearance, especially if it’s notably different. Again, changing the subject or walking away usually works, as does speaking up — “You’re making me feel very self-conscious. Please stop.” Sometimes the comments are well-intentioned, in which case assuaging the worries of your loved ones can quell concerns and comments — “I’m working with a professional to better improve my health. Thanks for the concern.” For people on the opposite end of the weight spectrum, even loved ones can be cruel in pointing out weight gain. Humor is a great way to diffuse an awkward and tension-filled moment, so be sure to check out these clever quips from Joy Nash. And don’t be afraid to be honest — “Wow, that was a rude comment.”

About.com’s tips on managing the Thanksgiving feast are also useful during the holidays. Regardless if you suffer from anorexia or binge eating disorder or just find it hard to let go of the dieting mentality, is holiday eating difficult for you? What are some tips you’d recommend to others on how to keep the season a joyful one both around the family and the dinner table?