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1. 1 On July 15th, 2008, Annie said:

   Yeah, my mother’s negative self-image definitely affected me. My mother is 5′1″ and weighed 95 pounds before I was born and is maybe 20 pounds heavier now. I am 5′10″ and currently weight somewhere around 240.

   When I was growing up, my mother would constantly talk about how it was awful that we ended up with such fat arms and legs, but at least we have a good hourglass figure. She would binge eat sweets when my father went to work, and as I got older, I would as well.

   To this day, I am convinced that, even though I am fat, my arms and legs are not just fat but are mammoth. Logically, I know that’s not true, but it’s a hard notion to shake. I also am deeply ashamed of eating desserts in front of others. In addition, I felt guilty for years, wondering why I would get fat when my mom didn’t — I mean, we ate the same foods! Coming from a family where fatness has huge moral implications, I always felt guilty for being the fat offspring of two thin parents.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 10:40 am

2. 2 On July 15th, 2008, queendom said:

   Both, eating disorders and fatness run in my family. My oldest sister had anorexia (but thankfully recovered fully) when she was fifteen, my other (also older sister) binged when she was a teen, and now shows some behaviors that are at times bordering on obsessive when it comes to food and exercise, and I am struggling with binge eating and dieting practically since I was ten (possibly even younger). Also, two of my three four female cousins have had anorexia, one of the two cycled between anorexia and binge eating.
   I guess there might be a biological factor there - what I am sure of, however, that my mum’s own body dissatisfaction and chronic dieting as well as both of my parents reactions to me being fat when I grew up has played a role in my eating disorder. From a very early age on, whenever I ate something high in calories, such as cake, and I took more than my parents approved of they asked me if I really wanted to eat this and to think about if I was still really hungry. I soon learned that the correct answer was that I did not want to eat anymore and I started to binge on sweets in secret. The sad thing about this is that my parents meant well, that they loved me (and still do) and that they only did what my doctor told them to do.
   Ironically, it is my mum who has plenty of body issues herself who now gets along better with the fact that I am fat and a binge eater. My dad, who has a very uncomplicated relationship with food himself and a good body image really tries to not talk negatively about my weight anymore, but he slips frequently. For example, the last time I was home he said something along the lines that people at my weigth are usually immobile - and that although he does not know my actual weight and consistently guesses a lower number than it is. (For the record: I am not immobile.) He is also overconcerned about me exercising “enough” and his ideas about what is “enough” are often quite ridiculous. (An hour of medium speed walking per day? Not enough. 16km of biking per day to prepare for a three-day bike tour with him? Not enough.) I know he tries to be accepting, I know his comments are born out of conern, and I know I should be more independent of his judgments at my age, and yet I find this hard to deal with - particularly since I am constantly worried that others see in me only the “lazy fattie” anyways.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 11:34 am

3. 3 On July 15th, 2008, Ashley said:

   For whatever reason, I would take whatever my dad said to heart. I had been mentally struggling with weight (though I was nowhere even remotely close to fat) when I was between 15-17, and every now and then my dad would make some comment about my flabby arms or how my stepsister was huge (I was skinny and muscular, she was pudgy). This sealed the deal for me and I learned that I was fat and that to be fat was unacceptable. I developed anorexia shortly after, and got down to 107.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 11:39 am

4. 4 On July 15th, 2008, buttercup said:

   I am so worried about both my daughters. I know they witnessed a lot of body hatred from me when they were younger. They also saw me diet, gain, diet, gain, diet, gain along with the requisite self-loathing. They’re 22 and 24 now and I hope they’re okay. I’ve been talking to them lately about how wrong I was and how sorry I am that they had to be witness to that and I think they’re both more OK with their bodies than I ever was but I still worry.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 11:54 am

5. 5 On July 15th, 2008, Stephanie said:

   I don’t have an eating disorder per se, but since my mother went on one health food fad after another (with bouts of restricting calories down around 1000 a day), I’ve gotten it into my head that if I’m not eating pretty much only vegetables, steamed, I’m doing it wrong. Ugh.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 11:55 am

6. 6 On July 15th, 2008, Nicole said:

   Sign me up as both affected by my parents’ dieting and worried about affecting my own kids.

   My dad was the one who did the “organized” diets. I remember when he lost something like 100 pounds doing The Diet Center–mostly eating softboiled eggs and Zweiback toast, which I still hate to this day. It was also my dad with whom I first went to Weight Watchers (there’s a combo for you at WW–middle-aged man and his 11-y-o daughter, not exactly the standard clientele). My mom always seemed like the paragon of virtue–never overeating or eating the “wrong” things and always trying to keep me from doing those things–but she stayed mostly around the same weight no matter what she did (barring the 1970s flirtation with diet pills, AKA speed!). Still, we all ended up fat in the end.

   Interestingly, my parents tried a different tact with my younger brother, since I ended up not only fat but disordered in my eating behaviors, and let him eat more or less what he wanted, when he wanted. He’s also fat–though not nearly as fat as I am. That’s the power of dieting constantly from the ages of 7 to 29, folks!

   I gave up dieting when my son was born almost five years ago and have tried really hard to let go of my ideas of “good” and “bad” and not pass along those hangups. Since my daughter was born just a few weeks ago, however, I find myself feeling more frantic about the whole eating issue. I can see why it was easier for my mom to “let go” with my brother and restrict every morsel that went into my mouth… Ugh.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 12:26 pm

7. 7 On July 15th, 2008, Hagen said:

   I was definitely affected by mother’s own issues. At 12 and 13 she was my supplier for diuretics,laxatives, appetite suppressants and other diet pills etc. I took them because she was taking them and it was mentioned time and again that I looked just like my grandma (who just happened to be fat). We (mom and I) did weight watchers together for the first time when I was 14 or 15, and later TOPS (taking of pounds sensibly) when I was 16 or 17. Since then I have had a plethora of disordered eating and obsessive behavior patterns.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 1:07 pm

8. 8 On July 15th, 2008, Emerald said:

   My mother has never had any eating issues as far as I know. She eats everything she wants, as much as she wants, especially sweet stuff, which she loves, and will happily leave anything she doesn’t like on the side of her plate. Unfortunately, this eminently healthy attitude is dependent on the fact that she’s always been under 100lb and is one of those people who doesn’t put on weight no matter how much she eats. For anyone else, her rules are rather more stringent. Specifically, anyone of a slightly larger than ‘normal’ build (and she regards her size as ‘normal’) should eat mostly salads, avoid bread and potatoes in particular, and never, ever undertake any leisure activity that involves sitting down.

   I take after my dad. Dad’s family were all of a rather larger build. I don’t think my dad or brother ever got flak from Mother - she’s a little more lenient with men, if you’re male you have to be upwards of 200lb and actually diabetic or suffering from some similar supposedly weight-related illness before she comments - but I got it big time. I never had her force me onto diets as a small child, but she laid into me about it when I was older. I used to get her actually remove food from my plate when she thought I’d ‘had enough’.

   A few years back, I did psychology A-level at evening classes. When we studied eating disorders, I did a double-take, because there was a long list of the risk factors that indicate someone’s likeliness of developing such a disorder, and I checked boxes for every single one of them, bar actually having it in the family.

   (Mother who was a perfectionist and a control freak in lots of other ways and did her best to pass it on to me, and was obsessed with appearance to the exclusion of all other personal qualities. Academically high-achieving school, and yes, I was always expected to do just that teensy bit better than I already was doing. Chronically low self-esteem. A lot of other factors I can’t recall offhand.)

   I know it’s a complex thing, but I’d guess that either the specific dieting behavior is important in daughters developing EDs, that the genetic factor plays a big part, or that I had other protective factors at work in my life at the time.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 1:29 pm

9. 9 On July 15th, 2008, Michelle said:

   Growing up, my mother constantly, endlessly bemoaned her “obesity” and told me that being fat had ruined every aspect of her life. From the time I was a very little girl, she warned me about what a living hell my life would become if I allowed myself to gain weight: I wouldn’t have any friends, everyone would make fun of me, no boy would ever date me and so on and so forth. I used to have actual nightmares about getting fat while I was still in elementary school.

   We went back and forth between eating “whatever” and being on mom’s latest restrictive diet. She’s convinced that in order to lose weight, she needs to eat 800 calories a day or less, and you can imagine what it was like living with a parent on a starvation diet. It would last a few weeks (or maybe occasionally a few months) and then we’d be back to eating “whatever.” Pizza, mashed potatoes, candy, life was good! Right up until mom started the next diet (actually, they were always pitched as “lifestyle changes” — and this was back in the 1980s! Calling it a “lifestyle change” doesn’t change the fact that it is a DIET.)

   When I entered junior high, I reached my full height of 5′9 and began gaining weight. I wasn’t fat, not by any stretch of a non-disordered mind, but my mother told me that I was “getting big” and had better “do something about it” immediately. Of course I panicked and started my first real diet. I lost 20 pounds and my mother was SO PROUD. I remember her actually calling friends to brag about how great I was at dieting and how thin I was now.

   Of course, that diet was actually the start of a full-fledged eating disorder, but mom was happy because I was thin. I remember being in my early 20s and asking her what she thought my “ideal weight” was. She replied that I looked best at about 115. Again, I’m 5′9. At 115, I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed… but I looked like a model, and that’s what counts, right?

   The sad thing is that my mother isn’t “obese” at all. She’s probably 20-30 pounds overweight, but sort of flabby because she’s never exercised in her entire life. Now she’s in her 60’s and talking about weight loss surgery.

   I have a 13-month daughter, and I’m determined that this insanity stops with me.

   posted on July 15th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

10. 10 On July 15th, 2008, Zaftige said:

    My sister-in-law is trying desperately to raise her 4-year-old daughter body positively. Her whole family is fat, and she’s the thinnest of them all; she was apparently very heavy as a teen and tried hard to lose weight. She definitely has body issues, but I love her so much for trying to shield her little one from the early crap. She has outlawed the word ‘fat’ in her house, which irks me for obvious reasons, but she has good intentions with it. I’ll have to give her the red pill some other time.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 2:43 pm

11. 11 On July 15th, 2008, Mary Sue said:

    My mother talks a lot about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ foods. With the end result that I hate ‘good’ food and love ‘bad’ food. My lunch today, oddly enough, consisted entirely of ‘bad’ food: brown rice, pork spareribs, and zucchini.

    She also hides candy (totally a bad food) around the house. I remember my sister and I, whenever we found a cache, would quickly eat some, if not all of it, because we didn’t know if it would still be there later. I sometimes catch myself hiding and hoarding candy to this day, especially at work.

    Her ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food has now turned into WW points talk, which is just ‘good’ and ‘bad’ with quantitative scores.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 3:21 pm

12. 12 On July 15th, 2008, B13 said:

    The end result in my household is kind of funny. My mother (who has always struggled with her weight and whose mother certainly struggled with disordered eating) is fat; my father is average (heading towards pudge in late middle age). My mother imbued my little sister and me with the idea of loving and respecting our bodies, of self-empowerment, of our looks not being our main value as women or people, etc. I was a thin child; my sister was average. We had chubby stages in puberty, and I was at my absolute thinnest at 16. Then I got fat in college, and my mother’s tune changed. But…it was too late for me. I already believed I could be healthy, happy, beautiful at many sizes. And while my sister struggles more with body image than I do (she’s thin-average), we both reject dieting and body hatred. Funny how things turn out. (And I’m slowly bringing my mom around to new ideas as well.)

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

13. 13 On July 15th, 2008, SP said:

    I struggled for a while to figure out where my self-image problems came from, because my parents always believed–and told me often (still do, bless their hearts)–that I was beautiful, that I was smart, that I was creative, that I was capable…it’s just that the first one didn’t sink in at ALL. And then one day, I was talking to my therapist, and found myself explaining that women aren’t supposed to think that they’re pretty.

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah. Mom thinks I’m beautiful. But she thinks she is fat and not beautiful. And I grew up believing that I was supposed to feel the same way about myself. I’ve never told her this; she was absolutely doing her best.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

14. 14 On July 15th, 2008, Krista said:

    I don’t believe my mother has an eating disorder, but she has dieted my entire life. She swings between size 12/14 and size 6/8. I don’t know if ED has a genetic component, but it didn’t help that some of my first memories are of my mother standing in front of the mirror saying, “I’m so fat.” She would also make comments throughout my teens, when I was a size 7, about how I could easily drop 10 pounds if I’d drink less soda and juice. I honestly don’t think she can help it…the diet propaganda is, by this time, burned into her brain.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm

15. 15 On July 15th, 2008, susan said:

    My mother (not biologically related) was constantly obessesed with her weight her entire life. She was a chubby child who grew up to be an overweight teen and an obese adult. She never felt good enough because of it and constantly dwelled on her weight, as well as everyone else’s — and I mean everyone. She let me go on a diet with her when I was 10 (I wasn’t overweight), and was always the first to notice if I lost weight. I often wonder if I would have developed eating issues had my biological mother lived.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 3:57 pm

16. 16 On July 15th, 2008, Curvygirl said:

    Reading these posts makes me want to cry. Or eat. I’ll probably eat

    My mum has spent most of my life trying to lose weight or ‘get fit’. I remember reading the F plan as a child (F for fart?), she was going to run a marathon (still talking about that one over 20 years later), blah blah blah. At one point she was either on pills or a restricted diet and lost a lot of weight, and she looked awful. My sister may or may not have an eating disorder, but she was size 12 (US) as a teen and my mum offered her money to lose weight. She has never lost any weight, and thinks she’s currently about 350 pounds at 5′2, as she hasn’t weighed herself in years. My beautiful 9 year old niece has told me she wants to be thin when she grows up. That is the sum total of her ambition.
    Me? I have had a messed up relationship with food (and other substances) for almost as long as I can remember. Starving a bit, using illegal drugs to keep weight down, going on diets, binge eating but never purging… I’ve gone well below my optimum weight, but didn’t eat in the evenings, existing on beer and cigarettes. I’ve gone up to over 220 pounds (5′2) and am about 180 at the moment. Dumped the other things but still have eating problems. I’m learning about FA and hoping to learn to eat intuitively, dump all the crap I’ve absorbed about good foods, bad foods, when to eat, what size I should be. What a mess. But it stops here - I want kids. And I want my kids to value themselves and not get in a mess over food.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 4:07 pm

17. 17 On July 15th, 2008, Ai Lu said:

    Although eating disorders may “run” in families, I would like to know more about whether they are “genetic” or merely “heritable,” according to the current research. What does it say about it? I’ll venture a guess here.

    The difference between “genetic” and “heritable” traits is that things that are heritable are passed on from parent to child without necessarily being “in the genes” — that is, heritable traits can consist of behaviors, attitudes, values, etc., that are passed on from parent to child, such as food restrictions.

    “Genetic” refers to something that can be attributed only to genetic factors, and from what we know of psychiatric disorders, there are very few that are purely or even mostly genetic — even the ones that are most clearly genetic, such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia — are attributable not only to genetic factors, but to environmental factors such as stress AND the combination of susceptible genes with certain environmental (i.e. schizophrenic genes combined with neglectful parenting).

    In the case of eating disorders, we cannot deny that there are physiological consequences as well as precursors, such as food sensitivities. But the fact that a disease or disorder manifests physiological does NOT mean that it is purely “genetic” in origin. Any behavior as complex as an eating disorder necessarily comes about through multiple pathways, and cannot be traced back to anything as simple as “genes” or “parental influence.”

    That said, it is difficult for me to know if I should attribute my own struggles with food to having learned to imitate my mother’s restrictive diet at a young age, or to her genes. But I do know that we share similar concerns — isn’t that enough? Whether or not it’s “in the genes,” this is one behavior that has certainly been passed from mother to daughter. And, tough as it may be, I intend to end the cycle with me if I can.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 4:22 pm

18. 18 On July 15th, 2008, pennylane said:

    I think most illnesses have both genetic and environmental components. I know that my parents had some influence. My mom was not excessively worried about weight (she was never really heavy) but she would sometimes comment on my chubbiness or suggest I do sit-ups, etc. My dad clearly had some hang-ups–like refusing to buy a larger pair of pants (and insisting they were mislabeled if he happened to fit into a larger size than he thought he should). He would insist he wore the same size as in college, etc. etc. I think my father had at least two sisters who had eating issues and almost all of his siblings had/have issues with anxiety or compulsions (gambling, alcoholism, OCD, etc.). So I think there is probably some genetic issue there (my brother and I both have depression and anxiety issues). And they all had a kind of weird upbringing. Probably an issue that genetics made me predisposed, environmental factors pushed me into the ED.

    I don’t plan on having children and part of that decision was influenced by my fear that I might pass on my problems.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 5:13 pm

19. 19 On July 15th, 2008, MulherEsperta said:

    My mom never complained about her weight or dieted, to my knowledge, but she definitely made her opinion known when it came to my eating habits and size. I remember her telling me to suck in my stomach when I got my first 2 piece swimsuit (that exposed about 3 inches of tummy) when I was about nine. I remember commenting on how pretty the red potatoes were in the grocery store and she admonished me, because apparently it’s wrong to find food aesthetically pleasing. When I was in 6th grade and wearing an adult woman’s size 12, she repeatedly warned me that if I got any bigger I would have to shop at the fat lady stores (the horror!). Whenever I asked for a cookie or something she would respond with “Do you really need that?” She encouraged me to compare myself to other girls by pointing out the ones who were fatter than me and saying “At least you don’t look like her.”

    I worry more about the culture at large passing on body image issues to my future children than about any behaviors of mine. I have a very healthy relationship with my body and with food but the rest of the US generally doesn’t, and my kids will interact with and learn from many people besides me.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

20. 20 On July 15th, 2008, Tori said:

    Growing up, I never saw my mom as any different because it was what I knew as “normal,” but now that I’m in recovery I see that she definitely has ED tendencies. She didn’t tell me until years later, but we had much of the same history — for example, she started counting calories in high school, basically the exact age I did, I’ve seen her weigh herself twice a day on more than one occasion, etc. Sometimes I just think I’m a more “extreme” version of her.

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 7:49 pm

21. 21 On July 15th, 2008, Tori said:

    Oh, and also, just after reading these comments here…I think it’s both genetic and environmental. That is to say, even if you have the genes, if you have an upbringing that encourages a healthy relationship with food you will be less likely to develop an eating disorder. As soon as I could read, my dad took me through the grocery store and taught me how to read the fat grams on the food labels. My mom later taught me more about the other stuff on the labels. We were always on a “low fat diet,” as she said, but it wasn’t a diet, and she really emphasized that. In fact, in the 16 years I was at home before I started college, my mom never ONCE bought me candy or anything from the bakery because it was “bad for you.”

    posted on July 15th, 2008 at 8:07 pm

22. 22 On July 16th, 2008, Mara C said:

    my family to me seems majorly messed up, in terms of eating beahviours and body image etc. i am 16 years old and a perfectionist and am surrounded by very negative messages about body image, eating and weight, although most of these come from myself (altogther these thoughts mostly being borne of the negative influences), and i feel genuinely worried about myself, and feel as if i may fall into the grips of a severe eating disorder if things get any worse. i constantly feel much too heavy, and know the calorie counts for everything and will not eat anything unless it falls under my ‘good’ category of foods (anything over 300 calories acutely frightens me). i am around 5 foot 1 in height and weigh 105 pounds, although i do have mostly muscle arms and legs so i dont know if this could be a true measure of body fat etc. i walk a lot and sometimes run and i eat around 950 cals as my daily average, i am constantly hungry but feel ashamed to eat.
    my dad exercises every single day, without fail, by running and swimming and walking for hours on end, and he counts cals and restricts carbohydrates almost completely, and it is unnerving to see your dad announcing that he cant eat the pasta your mums put in front of him, and another bowl in front of you, because it will make him very fat and he can only eat steak. (which i cant eat because it used to be a cow and i dont want to eat another animal), and him exercising up from 5:30 in the morning, and really angry if he cant. he is freakishly muscular for someone of 51, but not really thin, just crazy muscular.
    my mum is technically obese, and eats when shes not hungry, which messes it up because as a little kid, and now, i dont understand why. she says she enjoys food but she eats really fast, and a lot, and is constantly calling herself fat. i have no problem with people who are obese, weight doesnt mean a thing to me when its concerning other people, but i dont want to be anything like her in her eating habits which are disgusting.
    my sister is 18 now and has been anorexic since she was 16 or so. she used to play a lot of sports and eat just the family meals (which are healthy, but not organic, but still good quality food that my mum made, shes a doctor so she has a knowledge of this stuff apparently)
    but she was around 70 kilograms at 5 foot 5 or 6, so she was quite overweight, although she never over ate and was so active. she started vomiting up her food after she moved to a new school, then her weight dropped really fast, and everyone didnt seem to find a problem with this, until she dropped to around 40 ish kilos and went into cardiac arrest from complications of anorexia and stringent bulimia.
    my brother eats normally but doesnt want to get fat, he makes fun of fat people and thinks those super-thin models on the runway are the normal, beautiful women out there.
    i feel so fat all the time, as i do right now. no one has ever called me fat, and my mum started watching what i was eating (in terms of, if i was eating most of the time) when she found out my bmi, of 20, which is healthy but i guess maybe underweight for someone coming from a family of muscly/naturally fat types, especially since i have somewhat muscle mass.
    my dad is constantly telling me to exercise however, because ‘i need to’, and when i walked into the kitchen the other night he closed the pantry doors. i remember some time ago i was exercising in the extreme in my legs and i asked my brother (12, and autistic), whether he would go out with a girl if she had legs like me and he said no, theyre a bit too big.
    i am genuinely scared of what my future holds, i dont want to be fat, but i cant lose weight anymore, i am already starving myself.
    i want to get out of this house because it makes me feel so disgusting and fat. i would never think less of a person for being a certain weight that may be not thin or whatever, but i find myself loathing my weight sometimes.
    what can i do though?
    bleh no ones reading this

    posted on July 16th, 2008 at 5:55 am

23. 23 On July 16th, 2008, Bree said:

    Mara, your family definitely needs to be educated on FA and that eating is something that is necessary, not a judge of one’s character.

    My mom has been heavy off and on her entire life. Like me, she started out thin but began to gain weight as she aged. She did WW in the 80s’ and lost 25 lbs, but gained it all back after she quit. She gained even more weight after she quit smoking. At her thinnest, she was a 12/13. At her heaviest, an 18/20. She’s been dieting for over a year and lost 60 lbs. She’s down to a 14/16, more on the 14 end. She has now hit her plateau, but her doctor wants her to lose even more weight. Both her SIL and I told her not to lose anymore. She is 5′11 and more weight loss would make her look too thin. I think she will take our advice, which is good.

    With me being a size 26/28, she does occasionally tell me I eat bad and I should do this, this, and this. I bluntly tell her I have no desire to diet, I don’t constantly eat, and as long as I am healthy, why change?

    But I do have a good relationship with her; I never really had to deal with all the other crap that the other posters were faced with. I would get the usual drive-bys growing up from her and my grandmother, but I would give it right back to them.

    posted on July 16th, 2008 at 9:08 am

24. 24 On July 16th, 2008, Erika said:

    My Mother was always on one diet or another. The Grapefruit diet, whatever was published in magazines or a fad at the time. She was always negative about her body shape, and I think I learned that women are supposed to hate their bodies; i is just natural. My Grandmother had one of those machines in her basement where you stood on it, and there was a band around your waist that was supposed to ‘jiggle’ the fat away. I used it as a kid.

    I developed anorexia then bulima at 15, recovered for 5 years and now am battling anorexia again. Although I don’t look completely emaciated, my bmi is almost one digit, because I have a muscular build. My littlest sister has been bulimic since she was a teen, and has attempted suicide.

    Do I blame her? No. But to this day, before every vacation, the onslaught of dieting all over again begins. I just wish she could love herself.

    posted on July 16th, 2008 at 10:12 am

25. 25 On July 16th, 2008, Fat Girl said:

    I got my disorder from my mom, FOR SURE, and I’m pretty sure that she got her disorder due to the strange “table” behavior that occurred in her family. I’m learning more and more about it and emotions were NOT allowed at the table, and.. well, it just didn’t sound good.

    I’ve been told I did poorly at the “table” of my grandfather when I was little. I’m not surprised.

    posted on July 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

26. 26 On July 16th, 2008, Brynne said:

    You know, it’s interesting…my grandmother was weight-obsessed and as a result, her two daughters (Mom and Mom’s sister) were anorexic/bulimic in high school. Both of them are recovered (Mom more so than her sister) and Mom decided when she had me that she would never ever diet or anything because she did not want to do to me what her mom did to her. Unintentionally, of course, but nevertheless…

    She never dieted. She never commented about my weight, even when I got to be heavier than her. She always ate when she was hungry and encouraged my brothers and me to do the same.

    And yet…at fifteen I developed an eating disorder.

    If it wasn’t a learned behavior, was it just coincidence? Or genes?

    posted on July 16th, 2008 at 8:05 pm

27. 27 On July 17th, 2008, elizabeth said:

    I don’t know exactly where I learned my eating disorder from. I have no history of it in my family and my mother loved and cared for her body so well.
    Friends ask my husband and I often when we are going to have kids. There are lots of reasons we are not ready but one of the huge reasons for me is that i want to be free of so many more ed habits. I don’t want my child to go through any of this. If I can avoid it at all, I will wait and wait…

    posted on July 17th, 2008 at 3:54 am

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