You’re so vain

20th May 2008

posted in Body Image, Diets, Fat Bias, Mental Health, Personal, Pop Culture |

trophy Last week I suggested the reality show Top Chef ought to eat some humble pie. Humility is an admirable trait that would befit certain people (Ahem, yes, you, My Super Sweet 16 brats) but a little dose of narcissism isn’t all that bad, either…

More than thirty years ago, Washington Post reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward brought down an American presidency with their investigative journalism. Their investigations of the powerful inspired a generation of journalists to pursue the craft. I entered journalism rather circuitously but even so, I too once harbored those big dreams of being a foreign wars correspondent or creating stunning National Geographic photo-documentaries like Jodi Cobb. My actual job now is slightly less glamorous than what I envisioned it would be. I write feature stories on interesting and eclectic people doing interesting and eclectic things. Sometimes I am amazed by the strange and wonderful things locals here are doing. There are service trips to every part of the globe, novel inventions and patents, eco-friendly house and garden designs, achievements and honors galore Sometimes the stories I write border on the bizarre – alpaca farming – and sometimes stories can be downright eye-rolling – lawn bowling.

However mundane the topic, here is what I try do to: My goal is to take the same excitement and energy held by the person I am writing about and convey that passion in my story. I may include supplemental information to help round out the story, but my stories are largely based on my interactions and conversations with the subject I am writing about - I’m a reporter, not a fiction writer. I often get appreciatory notes from these people, with the added note, “You made me sound better than I really am!” It always makes me a little sad to see such fascinating do-gooders unable to realize that they need no embellishment at all.

Our culture is one that largely discourages narcissism. The nation’s Protestant values frown upon vanity and materialism; excessive pride in oneself is seen as a character flaw, a moral and personal failing. Indeed pride is one of the seven deadly sins. I’m not saying that we should all become a nation of Dorian Grays, but rather having a high self-esteem and confidence in oneself isn’t tantamount to narcissism, either. In fact, I think we all need a healthy dose of constructive self-pride.

Andy Warhol once opined that everyone will have their own 15 minutes of fame. I am a firm believer that everyone should also have at least one positive piece on them in a newspaper. If a newspaper were to write on you, what would the article read? Are you a single mom who’s struggling to get a college degree? Do you go on mission trips or perform community service? Have you overcome depression or an eating disorder or a difficult childhood? Are you a positive role model for a child? Do you enjoy a healthy body image?

C’mon… this is the place to toot your own horn. What are some of the fabulous things you’re doing both on a micro and macro level?

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 at 11:26 am and is filed under Body Image, Diets, Fat Bias, Mental Health, Personal, Pop Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On May 20th, 2008, Elizabeth

said:

Mostly I am proud that I don’t hate myself anymore. I did for a really long time. I was ugly, fat and stupid and that was all there was. But as my son has grown older I have learned that if I want to raise a healthy child who loves themselves I had to love myself. It is a journey that I am happy to be taking.

Note: When the Bible is speaking about pride being a sin it means the Dorian Grey type pride. It does not mean that you can not have pride in yourself or others around you.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 12:58 pm

2 On May 20th, 2008, mccxxiii

I live within my means and don’t rack up lots of credit card debt.

In general I think that should be a given, not a special accomplishment to be celebrated. But the more I look at the way this nation behaves financially, the more I wonder.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

3 On May 20th, 2008, twincats

Okay, I could use a little positivity right now…

I am a rabid recycler and composter. I could put out my trash can once a month and still never have it be full or stinky. Guests at my house are accustomed to being chided about putting coffee grounds in the trash. *horrors*

I am also trying to eat less meat in general (for both environmental and health reasons) and work at “healthifying” my existing recipes to include more veggies and whole grains in lieu of meat products. I have at least two standbys that I have reduced meat content by in by 25% and am very pleased that my carnivore hubby didn’t even notice! Hee hee!

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 1:45 pm

4 On May 20th, 2008, April D

I think my best accomplishment is that I’m really well-rounded. Not only physically (one of my favorite mottos is “I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape!”); but also in the knowledge I have and the skills I’ve learned. While I may not be an expert in any one thing; I can certainly give you information on a variety of topics and entertain you with a wide variety of moderately pursued talents. Anything I WANT to try, I do try and I’ve learned not to let self-doubt paralyze my pursuit of interesting things in life. *pats self on back*

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pm

5 On May 20th, 2008, Rachel

In December of 2007 I moved more than 4,000 miles away from my home and family to do a year of volunteer service with AmeriCorps. I miss my family and friends terribly, but I am so proud that I proved I can move to a place where I know no one and not only live, but thrive.

On a smaller level, I have started to commute to and from work by bike. In a little over a month I’ve put more than 200 miles on my bike and I love the strength I have now. I love that I’m slowly making my carbon footprint smaller.

Thanks for this…it made my day better to make myself acknowledge that I’m doing something to be proud of.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 3:15 pm

6 On May 20th, 2008, Sarah

On June 1st, if all goes well, I will celebrate 18 months of sobriety.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

7 On May 20th, 2008, Charlotte

I so need something like this right now.

I’m in grad school, a seminary to be more specific. I’m preparing for pastoral ministry, and this fall I’m going to start the application process to get a minister’s license from my denomination. Being a pastor is something I’ve wanted to do almost my entire life, and now it’s finally happening.

Oh, another thing I just remembered: It’s been seven months since the last time I cut myself (I have a slight problem with cutting/self mutilation). I still have scars, but I don’t feel sad when I look at them anymore.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 4:01 pm

8 On May 20th, 2008, Charlotte

Oh I forgot!
Sarah, congrats on the sobriety! *hugs*

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 4:02 pm

9 On May 20th, 2008, Catgal

Hmmm wow. Why can’t I think of anything as marvelous as what has been posted above?

The only thing of signifcance that I can think of right now is that I am a good person. I am a good friend, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and coworker. I like myself for me.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:30 pm

10 On May 20th, 2008, Rachel

Why can’t I think of anything as marvelous as what has been posted above?

That’s the thing, Catgal. Some of the people I write about are doing what they think to be just everyday normal things. But in the eyes of someone else, being a good friend, wife, coworker, etc.. can be pretty remarkable.

Not all of our stories need to be Pulitzer-worthy

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 5:34 pm

11 On May 20th, 2008, MM

I made my school’s elite Model UN team as a freshman. And I wrote witty sayings in everyone’s yearbook today.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:21 pm

12 On May 20th, 2008, buttercup

All of you are amazing. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your accomplishments, be they large or small, local or global. It all matters.

I am learning to walk again. I’ve also become a heck of a good spinner, and developed some mad knitting skills. I’m starting to design my own stuff, too. And I raised two wonderful daughters who are a light in the world every day.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 6:24 pm

13 On May 20th, 2008, Tori

I graduated high school after 3 years and moved out of my parents house and started college when I was 16. I’m double-majoring in graphic design and journalism. I was diagnosed with anorexia in November of 2006 and was at such a low weight that I almost needed a feeding tube, but I managed to make it through and just last week I started the most amazing internship ever doing graphic design/public relations at the Historical Building a block away from the state capitol. Looking back, I realize now that I definitely wouldn’t have had the mental strength to make it through all the challenges I face today if my eating disorder was still so outrageously out of control. I still struggle, but each day I can feel myself getting stronger (in every sense of the word). That’s my spiel.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 7:20 pm

14 On May 20th, 2008, Fermi

I am a graduate student in Chemistry. I passed all of my qualifiers so now I am a PhD candidate, (just research, thesis, and graduation left.) I co-lead our Women In Chemistry group which holds lunches with both female grad students and female faculty, and we are working on expanding our activities.

I have a shitty boss (adviser, professor I work under) and almost meaningless research, but I get the meaning in my life from helping other female grad students have an easier time than I had with WIC. It is really great.

Also I love myself.
I agree that we need to change this idea of not bragging about ourselves.
We kind of addressed this on my blog awhile back, too.
http://penguinmistress.blogspot.com/2008/02/ultimate-of-un-cool.html

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:08 pm

15 On May 20th, 2008, Bri

I am in the middle of applying to commence post grad research looking at FA blogging and the Fatosphere specifically, with the hope of upgrading to PhD after the first little while. My would-be supervisor is very enthusiastic about my topic too.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

16 On May 20th, 2008, Bree

Nothing remarkable about me — I bought eight of those reusuable tote bags so I won’t have to use plastic bags anymore when I go grocery shopping. That is my major accomplishment right now.

posted on May 20th, 2008 at 10:55 pm

17 On May 21st, 2008, BigLiberty

Wow, these are all so wonderful.

I think what I’m proud of most at the moment is that we’ve taken the kids out of an abusive home (their mom’s), and they’re much happier and healthier.

I’m also proud that my DF and I have been able to do so much work on our home ourselves, and are continuing to change it into a warm, homey place for the kids. Who knew you could do so much with 576 square feet.

posted on May 21st, 2008 at 10:47 am

18 On May 21st, 2008, DaniFae

these are great.

I am an avid DIYer, I knit, paint, am learning how to sew and reconstuct my old clothes into awsome one of a kind peices. I’m also a fantastic home cook, and am starting working on recipes for the resurant my husband and I are going to open after he leaves the Air Force, four years from now.

posted on May 21st, 2008 at 11:21 am

19 On May 21st, 2008, Caralyn

Wow. What a great idea!

I battle(d) clinical depression and stay off medication by becoming a cyclist. I commute cycle and will, hopefully, be doing my first cycling tour this summer - solo. I paid for my own degree (a major in English and a minor in Humanities) and finished despite a crippling depression near the end (it took me 10 years to finish). I’m applying for Education and, though I was declined at one school, will continue to apply for Education until I get in because I KNOW I am meant to be a high school teacher. I volunteer with teenagers and teach sex education. My husband and I want to own our land, live in a cob house we will build ourselves and grow our own food. I want to become less dependant on oil and the global economy so we are learning about organic gardening right now (in our own little yard in the city) and experimenting with growing different veggies and composting. We don’t own a car. I’m vegan and try to eat a processed-food-less diet. We are learning about sustainable living (cloth bags, washing laundry in cold water, recycling, reusable containers, producing less waste, saving energy etc) and incorporating small changes one at a time. I survived two miscarriages in a row and didn’t want to kill myself - cycling helped! I love doing our own home reno projects (we tore down our garage by hand, reused ALL of the materials, created more garden space and made our back yard pretty and safer) and plan to do more inside when winter comes (more painting, down-sizing etc). Of our three cats, two are rescue cats who had serious emotional problems but are now healthy and happy because of all the love we give them. I’m learning to love my body and my self more.

wow. that was a novel. Sorry.

posted on May 21st, 2008 at 7:28 pm

20 On May 22nd, 2008, Sherie S

Well, one time I did stand up and defeat the forces of evil :). But if I talked about it, I would be laughed off the face of the earth. It will come out someday! I will be dead by then, but if they ever make it into a movie of the week, PLEASE make sure a fat actress plays me

Seriously, I stood up for my beliefs in a bizarre situation at work. I believe it was my involvement with SA that gave me the strenght to do it. This was in Cali where people are so used to making any sacrifice necessary to fit in (including starving themselves for a dress size) they just didn’t know how to stop. Defending my body helped me save me soul!!!

p.s. I was in high school when All the President’s Men came out. My best friend had a major crush on Dustin Hoffman so we went like 3 times.(Notice regressive h.s. language, this is taking me back:)) She even called Bob Woodward just to tell him she thought he was cool! And she got through! I was standing right next to her when she did it!!!! And you Rachel certainly ARE making a difference!!!

posted on May 22nd, 2008 at 10:15 am

21 On May 22nd, 2008, Mickey

I changed fields from chemistry to linguistics, and am over halfway done with my cand.mag. degree (kinda like an MS); my thesis research is already quite planned out, so as long as I get my preliminary work done, I should finish next summer.

I’m learning how to make my own clothes from the ground up, using a pattern block drafted from my own measurements, so I can make my own fabulous clothes, and say “Screw you!” to the fashion industry, as it generally does not seem to acknowledge the existence of my body size and shape.

posted on May 22nd, 2008 at 11:39 am

22 On May 23rd, 2008, Katilane

There are so many great stories here and I’m proud of all of you, and proud to add my accomplishments.

I’ve managed to pay off my substantial debt. I haven’t hurt myself in a long time. I became a volunteer dog-walker and cat cuddler. I told my mother that if she was going to continue to make me feel like I should be ashamed or that I was worthless because of my size, she would be cutting herself out of my life completely. I recycle and think green. I got rid of my tv, but I still get my shows off iTunes (sorry, but Hugh Laurie and I have too much of a relationship for me to drop him completely).

posted on May 23rd, 2008 at 12:53 am

23 On May 26th, 2008, Virginia

I finished school forever last Friday and in assembly got a certificate for ‘Most Improed Student in English Literature and Language’

This alone goes to show I’m moving in the right direction.

posted on May 26th, 2008 at 2:17 am

24 On May 28th, 2008, Erin

For the past year, I have been supporting my friend (now boyfriend - but that’s a separate complicated story). About 18 months ago he fell down a flight of stairs and injured himself such that he is in constant pain and is unable to work. I have offered him to stay in my second bedroom and have been supporting both of us financially for the past year. Whenever I tell this story to people they say, “Wow, that is amazing what you are doing.” and I just shrug it off thinking, “Well, what else should I have done?” But it IS amazing what I am doing and I should feel good about it. But the truly amazing thing is that some days I think I get more out of this arrangement than he does. He supports me in ways he doesn’t even realize and I know my life would be more difficult were he not in it.

posted on May 28th, 2008 at 12:23 pm