On turning 29…

9th May 2008

posted in Personal |

Setting: An introductory philosophy class I had to take last spring to fulfill a degree requirement. I am surprised to see a guy I knew from childhood take the seat next to me. We start talking about how being in our late 20s feels old on a college campus of coeds born in the age of Madonna. “When were you born,” he asked. I sighed dramatically. “I was born in the decade of Watergate.” A blonde girl with a great tan sitting next to us overheard our conversation. “So, when’s that?” she asked, popping her gum.

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I submitted an editorial to my university’s student newspaper last month to coincide with Body Acceptance Week on the glamorization of eating disorders in mainstream media. They never responded, so I checked the paper to see if they ever printed it. In lieu of my article, they printed a piece written by a well-intentioned student, I’m sure, on why “scrawny boys” should not wear muscle t-shirts. I sent an email off to my old journalism professor: “Am I THAT old and out of touch with the student body?”

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Conversation last night between my husband and I while watching college Jeopardy!:

Me: “I’m technically a student; I should totally go on college Jeopardy.”

Brandon: “No, I think they have an age limit.”

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Today I am a guest panelist at a Women in Journalism conference sponsored by my alma mater. I step out at lunchtime to see the campus green transformed into a glittering college festive playground, with girls in bikinis and guys in trunks splashing in water despite the chilly temps and kids bouncing on moonwalks and doing some weird kind of spasmodic contractions to a cacophony they call music. Co-sponsors of the event? Hooters and Trojan condoms.

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I feel old, but then again, I’ve felt old for quite some time. This is why turning 29 and even the looming prospect of 30 doesn’t bother me. In fact, I see birthdays not as a milestones passed, but as a chance to reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed. As I look over the past decade, I’m incredibly proud and a bit awed at the personal transformations within myself and at what I have achieved and I’m excited at what the next 10 years will bring.

A decade ago saw me moving out of my parent’s house and into my first apartment. I’ve been financially independent since and even now after marrying my husband. We own our home and try to live sustainable and cruelty-free lives. I’ve voted in every major election and supported local organizations doing great things. I managed to complete two degrees with honors, all the while attending classes full-time and in the summers and working a professional, full-time job. I’ve achieved great professional success and my career brings me great personal fulfillment and allows me to pursue my passions. I have cast off the shackles imposed on me by my family and their gendered, racist, homophobic belief systems to become someone who tries to recognize and eschew discrimination and oppression of any form. I struggled with an eating disorder, but have overcome it and in the process, come to know both myself and what I stand for.

So, today I plan on finishing this conference, going home and changing into my comfy sweats and relaxing with my husband, my kitties and a big piece of chocolate birthday cake and some Cherry Garcia. After all, I’ve got a busy decade ahead of me.

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This entry was posted on Friday, May 9th, 2008 at 1:11 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On May 9th, 2008, Marste

said:

Happy birthday!

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 1:37 pm

2 On May 9th, 2008, peggynature

Happy birthday, Rachel. I’m going to be 29 soon too, and I just hope to gosh all the BS of adolescence and my 20s will be gone by the time I’m 30.

I have to ask you, how did you manage to do school full-time and work full-time as well? I’m always wondering about this when I hear of people’s busy schedules. I can’t imagine how they handle it. I’m wondering what sort of strategies you may have used to keep your energy up, or to help motivate you to work on deadlines and things.

Anyway, you’ve accomplished a lot and have reason to be proud. Many happy returns of the day.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 2:19 pm

3 On May 9th, 2008, Sarah

Happy birthday Rachel!!

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 2:28 pm

4 On May 9th, 2008, Charlotte

Happy Birthday Rachel!
I’m turning 23 in three months, and I’ve been reflecting on everything that’s happened to me since I first left for college when I was 18. I’m also really excited about what’s ahead.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 2:42 pm

5 On May 9th, 2008, MrsDrC

Happy Birthday! You youngin’ you (I’m about to hit the big 3-5!)

Those stories of yours, making you feel old. I’m betting you wouldnt trade the knowledge you have today at 29 to be intouch with the scene, now would you?

And how did Brandon survive?

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 2:51 pm

6 On May 9th, 2008, liz

Happy Birthday!

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

7 On May 9th, 2008, Juliet

Happy birthday, Rachel! And I can totally relate to the feelings you mentioned of being a “non-traditional student.”

I was almost always the oldest one in my classes, especially before I transferred to the four year college where I finished my degree. There was some age diversity there, at least.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 3:18 pm

8 On May 9th, 2008, jamboree

I turned 27 this year, and I am really looking forward to my 30s. For truth. I finally feel like I’m getting to know myself, and liking what I find.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 5:17 pm

9 On May 9th, 2008, Tari

Happy birthday, fellow Taurus!! You already kick ass…I imagine ten more years will only make that list of accomplishments longer and more impressive and inspiring. Rock on.

If it makes you feel any better, I’m turning 30 on Monday. This is the last weekend of my twenties. GAH!! Somebody bring me tequila, stat!

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

10 On May 9th, 2008, Twistie

A very happy birthday to you, Rachel, and many more!

Hee! You were born in the Watergate era…but that’s when I became politically aware. I was fourteen months old when JFK was assassinated.

Oh, and I’d like to point out that the most time I’ve spent in Texas was a two-hour layover in the Dallas airport in 1998…just so nobody thinks that was me behind the grassy knoll.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 6:03 pm

11 On May 9th, 2008, i-geek

Happy birthday!

I’ll be 30 at the end of the month, further underscoring the fact that I am a full 6 years older than my grad program classmates. I went shopping with one of them last weekend, and while she was very excited about the plethora of retro-80s fashions in the stores, I was having deja vu because darn it all if I haven’t already done the lace-trimmed bike shorts, the day-glo T-shirts, the big headbands, and the giant belts on everything. And of course she’s too young to remember this stuff first time ’round. *sigh*

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 6:15 pm

12 On May 9th, 2008, Ashley

Happy Birthday Rachel, I hope you had a wonderful day.

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 8:07 pm

13 On May 9th, 2008, Court

Happy birthday! I’m convinced every decade gets a little (a lot?) better…

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 9:03 pm

14 On May 9th, 2008, Jeanne

Happy Birthday, Rachel!!

Personally, I couldn’t wait to turn 30. Of course, now (four years later,) I beg the clerk at the liquor store to card me. LOL

May you have many many many more birthdays ahead of you!

thinking of you,
jeanne

posted on May 9th, 2008 at 10:17 pm

15 On May 10th, 2008, Cyn

Happy Birthday, Rachel!
I’ve read you for a very short while (since March, I think) and you keep surprising me and inspiring me. You are an intelligent, beautiful and talented person. I’m 22 and basically nowhere, but you inspire me to write more, question louder, give my best. In seven years time, I want to be where you are now. It looks like the perfect late 20s future.

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 12:20 am

16 On May 10th, 2008, Lola

Congratulations on your birthday, Rachel! I read both your blog and Shapely Prose almost every day, but I completely missed that conflict two weeks ago. I only found out about it today. If you still want to hear about it, please tell me your email so I can send you my personal opinion about the whole thing. Wish you all the best!

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 2:43 am

17 On May 10th, 2008, Sarah

All the best Rachel. You have made a family and a life you are proud of. I can think of no better reward for your birth anniversary.

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 3:13 am

18 On May 10th, 2008, Rachel

Thanks for the well wishes, everyone And happy early birthday to you, Tari! I don’t drink so feel free to consume enough alcoholic beverages for the both of us.

I have to ask you, how did you manage to do school full-time and work full-time as well?

Simply put: I had no life. I still made time for some stuff, but I did put my photography on hold and had to sacrifice a lot to do this. You have to understand, though, I also did this at the start, climax and fall of my eating disorder. For me, school was the ONE support structure I had that was constant. For me, it was therapy in a sense. And I completed a large portion of this before I met my husband. I tried to do grad school full time in the fall while also working full time and I couldn’t do it. My husband and I hardly spoke and all I did was sit at my computer writing work stories, and then at 6 p.m., transitioned to school stuff. I don’t intend to do anything professionally with my graduate degree, so it’s like third or fourth on my list of priorities and was the first to go.

The hubby and I ended up going to Cheesecake Factory where we shared one of their ooey, gooey, cheesey pizzas. He had bought me a big chocolate cake already so we forewent the cheesecake. We’re combining my birthday with Mother’s Day tomorrow with the family. They all know to get me Lowe’s gift cards (it’s flower season!)

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 11:14 am

19 On May 10th, 2008, sparkly_jules

Try being a 40-something student in college. Talk about feeling like a fish out of water…I was born during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I’m in class with students who’ve never heard of the Heaven’s Gate cult (nearly all of whom committed suicide in 1996), and to me, it seems like it “just happened.” I am graduating in two weeks with my BA in English and a Certificate in Editing Publishing.

If I am now hit by a bus or some other horrific life-ending tragedy, I can at least have this carved on my headstone, “She graduated from college.” LOL

Love your blog,

Jules

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

20 On May 10th, 2008, MayDarling

Incidentally, I also turned 29 this week.
I am convinced that 29 is a fabulous age. Go party it up. The dirty thirties are around the corner.

posted on May 10th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

21 On May 11th, 2008, Jeanette

Just so you know — there is NO age limit on college jeopardy, as long as you’re a full-time student who has not yet received a bachelor’s degree. You and I can be the non-trad students of DOOM!

posted on May 11th, 2008 at 12:45 pm

22 On May 11th, 2008, Charlynn

Happy birthday, Rachel! I’ll be turning 27 in July and I feel old, too.

posted on May 11th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

23 On May 12th, 2008, woodscolt

Happy Birthday! It’s my first time commenting here, but I just turned 29 too.

My sister, who is 24 and studying for her bachelors, said to me that she was in her French philosophy class where the lecturer compared the ‘68 student uprisings with the 1989 fall of the Berlin Wall. Long pause from attending students. Lecturer: So how old were you guys in 1989? Long pause, then a voice from the back says ‘I was one’.

That really made me feel old!

posted on May 12th, 2008 at 9:06 am

24 On May 12th, 2008, Rachel

Jeanette: I guess I can’t be on Jeopardy after all - I’m working in my master’s after FINALLY finishing my bachelors.

posted on May 12th, 2008 at 10:38 am

25 On May 12th, 2008, Michele

Woodscult: That’s my birth year. Hah!

Happy birthday Rachel, and let me say, I am constantly amazed to learn more about what you have been through and yet somehow managed to emerge (with quite the eloquent style, let me add!) with wisdom and grace on the other side. Good luck for your next 29 years.

posted on May 12th, 2008 at 9:01 pm