She who orders the smallest salad ‘wins’

7th April 2008

She who orders the smallest salad ‘wins’

posted in Body Image, Eating Disorders, Feminist Topics, Food News |

I admit it – I like to read the gossip scoops on MSNBC brimming with the latest Britney Spears debacle or rumor of an impending George Clooney marriage. But in reading about the recent lunch of pals Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham, I have to wonder if sharing the details of their food choices – they shared a green salad sans dressing, one piece of fish, a side of steamed spinach and one regular Coke – is really all that fascinating to folks.

Then several days ago, several other bloggers and I were discussing this recent post on the blog Every Woman Has an Eating Disorder. The blog author instinctively knew a coworker was pregnant long before she told her. How? She noticed she had gained weight. Her male coworker, however, remained completely oblivious. Women are socially conditioned to *notice* these sorts of things… the slightest bit of weight gain, a new hairstyle, new outfit, etc… Women are not only cognizant of the bodies of others’, they also tend to scrutinize them more closely. It’s understandable why this phenomenon exists amongst women: When you’re groomed since birth to fit a specific cultural mold, you tend to unwittingly internalize it.

I’ve never had many “girl” friends – most of my friends have either been guys or women like me, who tend to buck feminine stereotypes. Maybe this is why I’ve never engaged in the kind of competitive ordering highlighted in this Allure article.

The article centers on a study conducted by Patricia Pliner, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto at Mississauga. In the study, test subjects read phony food diaries – some depicted women who ate small meals, while others were about women who ate larger meals. The small eaters were perceived to be more feminine, more concerned about appearance, and better-looking than the larger eaters.

Intrigued, Pliner next turned her attention to social dining rivalry amongst women. Her findings show that people tend to match their intake to that of whomever they’re eating with, and women in particular tend to eat the least when around other women. The exception to the rule is when people are dining with six or more close friends or family members – the assumption being that people feel comfortable and non-judged by those people around them.

Evidently, image control trumps hunger pangs, since yet another study showed that even after being deprived of food for more than 24 hours, people consumed only as much as a “minimally eating” friend, because external and social influences have more impact than the body’s internal signals to eat.

“Women are amazingly accurate at knowing how much other women around them eat,” says Patricia Pliner, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto at Mississauga. “Whether their friends polish off their plates has a powerful effect on what they eat.” This need to consume no less or no more than the next girl is almost visceral — and many who experience it would sooner admit to a cocaine habit than a competitive-eating one.

Not surprising, since eating in public tends to be as much an exercise in saving face as in saving waist. “Some women want to give the impression that they are ‘in charge’ of their diets or ‘in control’ of their eating,” says Susan Bowerman, assistant director of the Center for Human Nutrition at UCLA. (Admit it: How many blame-the-victim snap judgments have you made when you’ve spotted a heavy woman digging in to an ice-cream sundae at a restaurant?)

But a funny thing happens when people deny their hunger: You binge.

“When my clients restrict their food intake to appear strong in front of a dining partner, they often admit to raiding the kitchen later,” says Bowerman. Dollars to doughnuts, “they end up eating more calories than if they’d ordered what they really wanted.” As common as this might be, it’s detrimental nonetheless: “Even though some women think the two [eating styles] ‘balance’ one another, it’s a disorganized pattern of eating and isn’t likely to lead to long-term weight maintenance.”

Long-term weight maintenance? Who cares? Binging behaviors like this could lead to an eating disorder, which is far worse than an inability to maintain a size 8.

In explaining the why of competitive eating amongst women, Pliner discovered that women who are competitive about things unrelated to food often bring their issues to the table. In one of her studies, she paired up women to compete against each other in a variety of skills: the women who thought they were behind in the competition chose lighter entrees than their rivals at lunch.

“It was their way of controlling an area where they could succeed,” she says. “It was as if they were thinking, If I can’t compete with her in these other areas, at least I can eat healthier than she does.” Or, even more than that, be thinner.

I remember thinking almost the very same thing at the height of my eating disorder. My ability to abstain from food and to lose weight made me feel vastly superior to those mere mortals who gave into their bodies and ate. But you don’t have to have an eating disorder to feel similarly. Women are encouraged to compete with one another not in sports arenas or academics, but in a game of who’s more beautiful and who can best snag a man. She who loses the most wins the most.

The article also suggests other reason why a woman may deny her hunger:

But maybe the best — albeit a little arcane — anecdotal evidence of why women might be justified in not eating a lot when in a group setting is the idiomatic expression “old maid’s portion” — meaning that last slice of birthday cake, the final scoop of ice cream in the carton — suggesting that she who dares to help herself is damned to a life alone.

I’ve never heard the phrase “old maid’s portion,” but I have been at office parties and such where women will absolutely refuse to take the last cookie or piece of cake, all the while bemoaning how much they want to be “bad.” Inevitably, some male coworker sails along and grabs the offending piece while the women look wistfully on.

This kind of research isn’t new. Similar findings were found in a 1993 study in which subjects watched videos of the same average-weight woman eating one of four different meals. When the woman ate a small salad, she was judged most feminine; when she ate a big meatball sandwich, she was rated least attractive.

I think writer Rory Evans summed up the article nicely with her conclusion:

Spending time with friends over a shared meal is truly one of life’s most reliable pleasures. It should be a time to relax, not add more stress to your life — and certainly not a time to self-consciously scrape away béchamel sauce under the scrutinizing gaze of a competitive-eating friend. (Who needs enemies when you have dinner companions like that?) It’s entirely likely, too, that for all her gimlet-eyed glaring at everyone else’s plates, she’s really more worried about how people are viewing what she’s eating. And the only person affected by how much you eat is you.

Do you have any stories of competitive ordering? Do the food choices of your friends consciously or unconsciously affect what it is you order? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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This entry was posted on Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 10:50 am and is filed under Body Image, Eating Disorders, Feminist Topics, Food News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On April 7th, 2008, Mercy Reiger

said:

It’s not at a restaurant, but it was years before I began being comfortable eating as much as I wanted to at my mother-in-law’s house. (I’m still not comfortable eating multiple portions there sometimes.)

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 11:04 am

2 On April 7th, 2008, Julie

I’ve found myself ordering something “healthier” if my friends were ordering something “healthier”. I find myself, not the thinnest of my friends, not wanting to look like a glutton.

However, if I’m out with men, I eat whatever I please. I was at the Precinct on Friday night, and I finished my steak– not a huge one, just a filet– and the maitre d actually congratulated me, going on and on about how much he “loved” me. I think it was because most of the women who go in there don’t eat, and he was surprised to see a woman actually order a steak and finish it. It was a strange experience, but not exactly surprising, considering the other women I noticed in the restaurant.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 11:15 am

3 On April 7th, 2008, Ashley

Wow I mean really wow this is something I can so relate to, I tend to do this allot, I only eat tiny ammounts of food around my family(mom, stepdad ect because they have always told me how pretty I would be if I would lose weight), and then when I get home I will eat something to fill me up. I am not competing aginst a girlfriend or other female but I compete aginst myself or at least aginst how they see me.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 11:29 am

4 On April 7th, 2008, Rachel

Julie - that’s particularly interesting, given that you ordered a steak. Steak is still considered socially to be a “man’s food,” so maybe this is part of why the waiter congratulated you. There was a story out not too long ago about women who order meat as part of a dating strategy. Apparently, ordering steak suggests to dates that you aren’t as feminine - and therefore not as hung up about looks, body image and all things typically associated with being feminine. Of course, it only works as a dating strategy if you’re thin.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 11:35 am

5 On April 7th, 2008, hotsauce

yep, i’ve got about a million for you.

1) i was eating out with my aunt, who is loaded (referring to both money and alcohol here), and her friend, who is even more loaded (in two ways), and about six of their “friends,” all 70ish-year-old men and one woman whose age was difficult to tell because she’d had so much plastic surgery. we were in a place where the average entree was $40 to $50. i ordered one entree, because that’s how i roll — in our family we don’t order a bunch of expensive dishes to stare at. but it turned out that’s what these people do, or at least what the women present did. i ate my entire entree, but i felt a bit self-conscious about it, especially when the person sitting to my left made a point of calling me out on actually eating. i responded with “yes, i was hungry, it was good, and i didn’t fill up on an appetizer” and turned to chat with the boring guy to my right about his house in monaco. (related story: my aunt, who has substituted bulimia with alcohol, minimal eating, and excessive spending, barely touched her meal at all. the waitress asked her if everything was okay, and instead of saying “fine, but i wasn’t hungry” or something, she lectured the poor girl about how terrible the meal was, in order to cover up the fact that she just doesn’t eat. i pulled the girl aside on the way out and told her the deal, in brief. i didn’t want anyone to get fired over it.)

2) my work had a pizza party, and the ENTIRE time, our boss squawked about how fat she was and how she couldn’t eat any of the stuff. (she was, max, a size 8.) she turned to one of my male coworkers and asked him how many slices he had eaten. he said, “this is my third.”

“THIRD???” she shrieked. “i couldn’t imagine that!! well, you were sick for a while, weren’t you. you need to put on weight. how much weight did you lose when you were sick?”

“uhh.. about 20 pounds.”

“TWENTY!!!! i wish i could go on THAT diet!”

“i had a stomach parasite. you don’t want that diet.”

(i about killed myself trying to not laugh when he said that.)

for the entire rest of the day, boss lady, who, i should add, *never* leaves her office, was in the back by my desk, which is next to the kitchen, grazing on leftovers. everytime she went by she made a not-really-to-anyone-in-particular comment about how she had “no willpower.” by the end of the day she wasn’t saying anything, just sort of quietly sighing and grabbing another cookie.

so there’s two off the top of my head. i could go on and on.

but you know, this made me think about how things are for me now. if there’s one thing i think i’m pretty damn good at these days with regard to “normal eating,” it’s that i eat how much i’m hungry for even if the other person is eating like a bird. sometimes i feel a little piggish doing so, but i do it anyway.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:03 pm

6 On April 7th, 2008, WSG

I don’t know about being the same size, but among my closest friends (who range from about a size 2 to a size 16, the latter being myself), I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t A. love to eat with a passion most people reserve for their spouses, and B. eat red meat like cattle ranching might be going out of business. I don’t think I can form close relationships with the girls who don’t eat because, first, nothing says boring like “salad, dressing on the side,” and second, how can you trust someone who doesn’t even admit to wanting a damn cheeseburger every now and then?

7 On April 7th, 2008, Tangerina

I have one group of friends that consists of three of us who are all the same height, but I outweigh them by 45 and 30 pounds (and I’m not even really fat, they are really skinny) and I have to admit that when we go out I experience this like I do in no other situation. They aren’t even dieters, and although they’ve internalized a lot of the diet mentality they also seem to have relatively “normal” relationships with food, but I still find myself super nervous about what I eat around them because I’m afraid that even if I eat a slightly larger moderate portion then they’ll believe that that is why I weigh more.

In other weird twisty logic, I’m actually “better” at intuitive eating around my dieting parents… they are the good kind of dieting parents who don’t try to make me hear about it all the time or suggest that I do it (though where do you think I got most of my neuroses about food growing up with a mom who worried about her weight and is convinced she will die at 58 like her mother did if she doesn’t lose a ton of weight?) I think that my awesomeness at honoring my cravings and stopping exactly when I am full is definitely an act around them just to prove against my mom’s doubts that I am having a healthy relationship with food and won’t indefinitely gain weight if I don’t “control” myself. I think this is an extension of the competitive eating thing, though… definitely. I actually do think I have a very healthy relationship with food, but it is weird to be in situations where I am overly concerned about what people think one way or the other.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm

8 On April 7th, 2008, ShannonCC

My mom is like this. Me, not so much. For whatever reason I mostly escaped being worried about what others eat compared to me. But whenever I go out with my mom she has to apologize for what she eats. If I have a salad she acts all guilty and feels the need to explain why she’s not ordering one, stuff like that.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

9 On April 7th, 2008, mistletow

I’ve had issues with bulimia and binge-eating in the past, so to avoid pigging out later and hurting myself (I tend to eat until I’m in pain in these cases) I always eat everything on my plate. I admit that I often order the least satisfying thing on the menu when dining out with friends or distant family, but I still clean my plate. My fiance’s mother however, is a binge-eater, who tends to order something great, only eat a tiny portion, and then refuse to take it home. And then she goes home and eats and eats and is angry with herself. Despite her knowing the flaws of her strategy, she still makes comments about my eating, faux-compliments like ‘You’re such a good eater! Clean plate club, haha!’, which make me self-conscious, and also draws attention to how little she’s consumed. It’s a terrible game we play. My mother tends to order something delicious, and then feed it to everyone else at the table, showing everyone exactly how uninterested in food she is, and how little she can stomach. It’s really frustrating.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:16 pm

10 On April 7th, 2008, Becky

I’m not a competitive person by nature, so I’ve never tried to compete with my girlfriends over who could eat less, but I have eaten less than I normally would because I didn’t want to look like the gluttonous fatty. I remember my mom used to tell me how impressed she was with me for leaving food on my plate… as if not eating is some kind of accomplishment. Now that I’ve discovered FA though, I’ve stopped doing that. I eat until I’m full. I went for seconds in front of my mom and sister last night, and that was really hard, especially with my mom talking about how she’s shrunken her stomach so much and now she can hardly eat anything, but the food was good and I was hungry and I am not going to deprive myself just to stop people from judging me. Let’s face it, I’m fat, so they’re going to judge me regardless.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:21 pm

11 On April 7th, 2008, Rachel

first, nothing says boring like “salad, dressing on the side,” and second, how can you trust someone who doesn’t even admit to wanting a damn cheeseburger every now and then?

Heh, I’m vegetarian and I just ordered a Cobb salad with Ranch dressing on the side last night while out with my husband and a male professor friend. In my defense, I actually was really craving a salad with all the fixings, and the menu was really limited as it was for vegetarians. My husband ordered the only veggie entree, a portabello sandwich, and he didn’t like it all that much.

On Saturday, my brother- and sister-in-law came into town for my nephew’s birthday. We all gathered at my mother-in-law’s house and after a few hours, they suggested ordering pizza (they ALWAYS order pizza). I ordered a side salad to go with our veggie pizza. Let me say, LaRosas’ has an awesome side salad because they put the fresh mozzarella pizza cheese on it. After eating my salad, I realized I really wasn’t all that hungry anymore and forewent a slice of pizza. I should also add that I am taking Adderall for ADD, which acts as an appetite suppressant and I’m trying to follow intuitive eating. Oh yes, and I didn’t want to have to down Tums all Saturday night, which inevitably happens when I eat greasy foods now that I am old.

My husband, mother-in-law and sister-in-law all commented on my lack of pizza. I’m sure my mother-in-law and sister-in-law probably thought I was dieting, but to me, salad isn’t a diet food… it’s just food.

Just as with eating disorders, it’s not about the food at all, it’s about our relationship with food. If you want a salad, order one. But don’t order a salad just because you want to appear “good” or a “healthier” eater than your friends.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:23 pm

12 On April 7th, 2008, occhiblu

I’m like this to a certain extent, but almost only around women I don’t know very well. Part of it is, I think, that I get self-conscious in general eating around people I don’t know very well — I mean, not about *what* I eat, but the actual process of eating — and so I don’t want to order anything that has the potential to make me look silly (spaghetti, french onion soup, messy sandwiches… messy anything, really) and I don’t want to order something that’s going to take me much longer to eat than my companions’ meals will, because I don’t want to be eating when they’re not eating because then they’ll be watching me eat and that’s weird, so I want to order the same number of courses.

I also get slightly freaked out if I know that someone else is paying, because I don’t want to order an appetizer if they’re not, or a more expensive entree…

I think all of this kind of figures itself out if I know the person well, and get a feel for how they eat out (Do we order a first course and a main course? Bottles of wine, or by the glass? No alcohol at all? Are desserts and coffee standard, or do we need to bolt right after the main course?), so I can kind of match them without having to worry too much about it.

OK, seeing all those questions written out makes me feel a little silly. There probably is a great deal to be said for “Order what you want, without regard for the other person’s preferences — they’re grown-ups and can deal”!

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

13 On April 7th, 2008, occhiblu

I meant to add — eating out with men I don’t know very well doesn’t seem to inspire this same level of self-consciousness in me, so there’s definitely a bit of a gender thing going on with my issues. Though I think part of it is that I expect men to order a “regular” amount of food (appetizer plus entree), but I have no clue what any individual woman is likely to order, so it feels like there’s more uncertainty in dining with women.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:29 pm

14 On April 7th, 2008, Julie

I know that I weigh more now than I did when I was married, because my ex-husband was very much into, “So, are you really going to eat that?” and “Wow, you want to go on South Beach with me?” (this was after trying on a bathing suit) It’s still hard for me to fathom that I am attractive after 7 years of his semi-enforced dieting. My wonderful boyfriend, instead, says he loves my curves and prefers me at my current weight (5′4″ and 160 pounds) than when we started dating and I I was about 15 pounds lighter.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

15 On April 7th, 2008, Colin

I think I just read my pre-transition life.

Especially this birthday party at April’s house, where we all got little plastic cups to fill with popcorn. I was really hungry, so mine was fuller than anyone else’s, but it was embarrassing, so I hid it and went to the bathroom. When I came back the girl’s mother had taken some of my popcorn and put it back in the communal bowl. I had taken too much.

I’m still feminist, anti-oppression, and all that, but I’m still really glad I’m not a girl. I wish y’all didn’t have to deal with that shite either.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm

16 On April 7th, 2008, Karin

When I go out to eat I generally order what I want - I don’t give a damn what someone else thinks about my food choice. One friend commented that I was “brave” for ordering a dessert when nobody else (we were six people) ordered one. I only replied that she didn’t know what she was missing by surpassing that restaurant’s to-die-for desserts.

The office situation made me think of my female colleagues/supervisors. A lot of them simply refuse to take the last piece of cake and only takes half. Then the next person comes and slices the remaining piece in half. And so on and so forth, until the last piece of cake is merely a sliver. *rollseyes*

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:44 pm

17 On April 7th, 2008, Rachel

My 20-year-old sister is involved in her first ever real relationship. She was a fat kid, too, and so didn’t date much. She and my brother went on a cruise where the food is all you can eat. According to my brother, they ate more than they could eat. A week after their return, my brother ate out with my sister and her new boyfriend. She ordered a side salad and a side of rice. He started to laugh, which made her feel even more self-conscious. My brother just doesn’t get why girls feel the need to restrict their food in front of dates and like me, he thinks its silly.

I think I did a degree of this early on when I met Brandon, but I soon realized he doesn’t care what or how much I eat. He’s never once said a single comment to me about my food intake to make me feel self-conscious or gluttonous.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm

18 On April 7th, 2008, reddirtgurl

I had a house-mate in college who, when doing the requisite sharing about what we were going to order, would pick out the burrito with all the works or the supreme pizza, encouraging the rest of us to do the same. Then when the waitress would come around, she’d get the burrito or the pizza, but always with no cheese (said she couldn’t taste it in a burrito anyway), no sour cream, no pepperoni (no cheese on the pizza either!). Essentially, she’d “trick” the rest of us into feeling like we were all ordering similar things (why that was necessary I’m not sure, but it was), and then end up being the only one showing the “proper” amount of restraint. Over 10 years later, just thinking about it still annoys me (for all of us, her included) that she even developed a habit like that. I know that her parents freaked out when she gained the freshman fifteen and her dad offered to get her a boob job when she lost it — she then started exercising several hours a day and doing things like the above.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:47 pm

19 On April 7th, 2008, Jackie

I can’t recall a time when I worried about what other people were eating compared to me. I eat healthier stuff anyways, cause it tastes better.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

20 On April 7th, 2008, Ruth

I was quite surprised when a friend at work said to me that they love going out for meals with me, because I always order a “proper” meal (i.e. starter, main course, dessert) so they feel like they can too!

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm

21 On April 7th, 2008, Sexy Witch

I live with roomates in a college apartment. Most of them all eat like rabbits and if we eat together I am the only one eating a decent meal. Sometimes I feel really self-concious, but I’m not about to starve myself just for the sake of looking good in their eyes.

This weekend I went to AFL game in Philly with my bf and got an authentic cheesesteak (yummy). Usually you cant find a table (its all outdoor eating) but at that time of day, there were a few unoccupied. So my bf suggested that we just sit down instead of eating in the car which is what we usually do. Now there is always a huge line there, and I wanted to strangle him because all these strangers were about to watch me eat. What made it worse that there were three girls standing in line and I could feel there eyes on me and I knew they were scrutinizing what I was eating. Like how dare I put food in my mouth! Now I dont usually have a problem eating in a restaurant. Maybe because it is a intimate setting?

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

22 On April 7th, 2008, Quiwi

Personally, particularly around family, I find myself caught between two sets of comments when it comes to meals. If I actually enjoy my food and clean my plate, I do catch the “Whoa, calm down, the food’s not going anywhere!” Or, if my appetite isn’t all that, and I don’t finish what’s in front of me, everyone swears up and down that I’m on some type of diet. I just can’t win.
Oh, and don’t even try to turn down an appetizer or dessert, simply because you don’t want it. You will have committed the ultimate sin of being fat but not hungry. That’s because it’s a known fact that all fat people are hungry all of the time- no exceptions. (Cue eyeroll).
Eating in a social setting is another one of those ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ setups that fat people have to put up with. If a thin to average sized person eats her food with gusto, she gets lauded for having a “healthy appetite”. What a crock.
I’ve seen thin people scarf down their food like it’s going out of style, but I’ve yet to see the undercover food police give them lectures and disapproving stares. Things that make ytou go Hmmm.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

23 On April 7th, 2008, Jess

After years of restriction, I’ve been eating more freely for several months. Yes, I’ve gained weight, but it’s mostly muscle, as I have the energy to run longer distances and lift heavier weights. However, I have a tummy–the same one I’ve had, even throughout my childhood when I lived in leggings because they didn’t fall off like most pants. I’m still small, but not waifish anymore, and filled out at last. I think once I left for college, and ditched the competitive eating routine with my mom, I was able to break free of my self-hatred. She lost 10 lbs, and basically never really eats what she wants anymore. Instead, she picks off of other people’s plates, or has one bite of something, then makes a point of saying she’s full, all she needs is a taste, blah,blah, blah. She worships the cult of 100 calorie packs, and when I commented that people should quit wasting money on that shit once, she said, “well YOU don’t need them.” Nobody needs packages of air and inferior, food-like substances.
I underate for seven years, making sure I never went above 105 lbs. Looking back, I was probably cranky, depressed, and stressed all the time because of it. I’m surprised anyone could stand being around me, let alone eating with me when all I’d have were salads. Don’t get me wrong, I can be a bitch now and then, but I’m happier overall than I used to be (and hey, we’re all entitled to be cranky once in awhile). I actually had a milkshake and burger on the way to a wedding this weekend because I was really hungry (all my mom got was a small burger with pickles, then proceeded to eat my sister’s fries). In fact, I ate a ton all weekend (being a bridesmaid requires LOTS of energy), more than usual, but never felt sick or guilty. There is no need to binge to the point of nausea anymore because I eat what I want.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 1:23 pm

24 On April 7th, 2008, Emerald

You will have committed the ultimate sin of being fat but not hungry. That’s because it’s a known fact that all fat people are hungry all of the time- no exceptions.

Darn it, Quiwi, I think that’s my main eating-out problem around my mother. She doesn’t eat out much now, but she’s had this habit in the past of taking food she doesn’t like and putting it onto my plate, in the expectation that I will eat it. Like because I’m fatter than her, I’m some kind of unwanted-food-disposal unit. Then, after having tried to offload half her main course onto me, she’ll happily order the biggest dessert on the menu. I’ve also had surprised looks from her if, say, we pass a bakery and she wants a cake and I don’t, or I decide to eat mine not now but later. Or if she sees me and hubby eating and I eat less than him - although she’s still convinced I must be doing something ‘wrong’ somewhere.

Really, there are very few people I feel genuinely uncomfortable eating around. They’re usually the women that I know really are very hung-up about body image, and thankfully they’re not people I eat with very often. My workmates are mostly guys who love their food, love barbecues and would feel a little insulted if anyone didn’t eat.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

25 On April 7th, 2008, Karen

Most, no make that “all” of my competitive eating stories revolve around the fact that I’m always the one who eats the least. I’m short, underweight, and despise that overstuffed feeling, so I’d rather eat a couple of snacks during the day than fill up my stomach all at once, so, between the three, almost never finish a plate full of food. And people all around me, except my dad, always made such a big deal about how “little” I eat. To some I can point out that I simply require fewer calories to get by with my day, to others I can point out that I usually go with higher calorie foods so I don’t have to eat as much, but I still end up with the one meal I eat being “the reason you’re too skinny.” I think I remember a thing a Shapely Prose about the fat girl who didn’t order dessert so the skinny friend “wasn’t allowed;” I’ve always been the skinny friend who filled upon too little dinner and didn’t order dessert so that everyone else got to think they were pigs for eating more. I’m not sure what I could do for others, but I feel really, really bad for them. I can’t imagine giving up all my favorite (high cal) things on an unsubstantiated hope.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 2:20 pm

26 On April 7th, 2008, Karen

That should have been “the one meal THEY SEE ME eat.”

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 2:21 pm

27 On April 7th, 2008, Bree

When you read celebrity interviews where a meal is involved, they almost always report on what they eat, and it’s hardly ever a burger and fries, it’s usually a salad, a lean piece of meat, and water or iced tea. Why that is so important is beyond me.

20/20 did a study on dining several years back where not only who you ate with affected your habits, but also how the lighting was. Darker lit places led to more eating versus those bathed in bright light (I guess people got too freaked out over seeing themselves eat. But the results were typical of this study when it came to women.

When I’m with family and friends, I eat what I want. Most of the time I get full right after the main course, so I don’t want dessert.

However, if someone is paying for my meal, usually when it’s my birthday, I still feel guilty for getting a big expensive meal even though they tell me “get what you want.” So here I am chowing down on steak and crabcake, and they get a $7.00 bowl of spaghetti.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 2:38 pm

28 On April 7th, 2008, Kelly

I’m kind of in the same boat as Karen but it’s due to my food allergies(gluten and dairy). I often turn down the appetizers and desserts as I cannot have them. My friends often look at me wistfully and then say that they wished they had food allergies too so they would eat less. I hated that statement until my boyfriend told me that for some people having restrictions forces you to be more in touch with your body and what it needs so really they weren’t jealous of the allergies but rather that extra reminder of what the body needs as opposed to wants. But I do know that the wait staff hates dealing with me and I get very nervous ordering in front of strangers especially those who do not know about my allergies. Sometime I explain and apologize at the same time. Other times I don’t care and just eat whatever the hell I want even if it means using a fork and knife to eat my burger sans cheese.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 3:19 pm

29 On April 7th, 2008, ShannonCC

Kelly, do you really get trouble from wait staff? I have to avoid gluten too. My mom is always embarrassed when I ask questions but I’ve never had any wait people give me attitude. I’m polite and friendly when I ask, and I tip well, but still, I need to ask, so I do.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

30 On April 7th, 2008, Karen

In all honesty, I must say that if someone I was as odd as you must look ordering and I didn’t know they had a food allergy, I’d probably be giving them a funny look. Once I knew what the problem was I’d probably only take a few minutes to think about how difficult that must be to deal with when nearly EVERYTHING has either gluten, dairy, or both in it, and then I’d be poking through the menu to do my uneducated best to help them find something edible.\

But my dad will get the burger and eat it with a knife and fork because what he really wanted was the meat. He’s mostly of the opinion that wait staff are there to provide service, not judgment.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

31 On April 7th, 2008, Mary Sue

My best friends are usually guys. I never even thought about it until my Best Friend in the Whole Wide World got himself a hot-n-heavy girlfriend whou would sometimes come with us on our weekend lunch… erm, ‘dates’. He ordered a massive burger as per usual, and she reached over and grabbed a roll of my BFitWWW’s stomach, so he switched the side to a salad from tater tots. Then she ordered something froofy (grilled chicken? I dunno), and when the waitress turned to me, I followed my philosophy of “I’m Pretty A Vegetarian At Home, If I’m Eating Out, I’m Eating MEAT and Lots Of It” and I ordered a massive cheeseburger with cheese, bacon, and a side of tots.

At the end of the meal, after I’d dutifully cleaned my plate, she made some side comment about how I had a ‘healthy appetite’.

So, of course, I let out a massive belch that made my BFitWWW laugh and her turn pink.

She never really liked me to begin with, she thinks I’m trying to ’steal’ him away from her. Even though I’ve known him for 15 years and if I wanted my BFitWWW, I would have had him by now.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

32 On April 7th, 2008, Karen

Mary Sue: Meanie. You were just shoving in her face that you didn’t have to do anything to “keep” him and she did, weren’t you? Which is why she’s so jealous.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 4:58 pm

33 On April 7th, 2008, Kelly

ShannonCC - It depends on where I am. Most of the time, the wait staff is very nice and nod their heads when I ask for a salad without the cheese or the burger without the cheese but then it comes back with cheese on it. I know this is not their fault but it gets embarassing when I have to send something back until they get it right. Also I’m in the deep South where butter is an honorary vegetable My boyfriend and I have a few “safe” places we go to on a regular basis but I still thank my lucky stars that I can cook and that he would rather stay in and/or have friends over instead of eating out. I would rather make something everyone will enjoy than make anyone feel “bad” for ordering something with cheese all over it because cheese is yummy and I miss it!

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm

34 On April 7th, 2008, Mary Sue

Naw, Karen, I don’t think like that. Having grown up with boys as my BFF, I’m often blindsided by girl-drama.

She makes my BFitWWW go on DIETS with her. I don’t get it.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm

35 On April 7th, 2008, Karen

Togetherness? Probably the idea that “its not a diet, its a lifestyle change!” and healthier, so it would be good for him to. Too many women feel a need to “fix” their men.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 5:15 pm

36 On April 7th, 2008, Lindsey

Honestly, I cannot say that I’ve ever engaged in competitive eating. I eat the same amount of food alone as I eat in a large group of women, even if they are generally eating less than I am. I don’t really even take notice, and though sometimes I may feel like a bit of a pig if I’m eating more, it doesn’t penetrate to the point where I’m going to physically change the amount I eat.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 5:30 pm

37 On April 7th, 2008, Charlotte

I’m wierd about how much I eat in front of people; I eat differently in front of my female friends than my male friends. When I’m with my female friends, I’ll deny myself a second or third helping of something I really want just because I’m afraid they’re secretly judging me and how much I eat, especially because in my circle of female friends, I’m the biggest. But at the same time, I freely eat as much as I want in front of my male friends. I eat whatever I want and as much as I want when I’m with my guy friends. I find it much easier to be myself in front of my guy friends than my girl friends.

Sorry…I didn’t mean to write a novel! This post is opening a lot of doors in my mind right now.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 5:49 pm

38 On April 7th, 2008, ShannonCC

Kelly, ah, I’m in the NYC area. The restaurants here are probably more used to having a lot of picky orders

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 6:14 pm

39 On April 7th, 2008, Froth

I very rarely feel judged by what or how much I’m eating. I’m very grateful for the way my family handled food - we may be strange in other ways, but I seem to have come out with a pretty un-messed-up attitude to food.
I do have hang-ups about how fast I eat, though. I’m almost always the last to finish a meal at home, partly because we’ve never managed to break my brother of eating like it’s going to escape. I think my parents learned to eat fast so he wouldn’t be either sitting around at the table or off on his own causing trouble for too long. (They might have always eaten fast, of course.) Around other people my speed of eating seems to be pretty average, but I still worry about either eating faster and looking greedy, or eating slower and feeling awkward about making people wait.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 6:32 pm

40 On April 7th, 2008, littlem

“i pulled the girl aside on the way out and told her the deal, in brief. i didn’t want anyone to get fired over it.”

Hotsauce, I girlcrush on you for this.

I’m caught between hysterical laughter and hysterical tears reading the comments here. (I am also PMSing; TMI.)

I live and work in NYC, where the Women’s Olympic Trials for Competitive Eating and Non-Eating are regularly held.

One of my most vivid C.E. moments is when I was at a very fancy dinner at a very fancy restaurant with the rest of the people in my hip office who were much hipper than me.

I was congratulated for eating pasta by a blonde size 0 woman who skis a lot. (My skeleton weighs about as much as the average size 0.)

As we were running in the same half marathons for breast cancer regularly, when I feel like going crazy, I parse that statement, because she could have meant a thousand things by it, and I still can’t figure out what she meant.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm

41 On April 7th, 2008, Kayli

Interesting article. When I go out with big groups I don’t order much and someone always comments. I usually wonder if they’re judging me for being broke, whereas they probably wonder if I’m judging them for eating more. Funny old world.

I’ve lucked out with my close friends, though. Our finances and appetites vary enough that no one even questions if some order soup, dessert, or just a beverage while others go for hefty entrees. The entree people usually end up offering to share in any case!

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm

42 On April 7th, 2008, saintpikachu

You know, I think I’m actually more self-conscious ordering a salad or something else supposedly “good” in front of most people than I am ordering something considered “bad” like a cheeseburger. It just seems to draw so much more unwelcome attention, and it makes me so self-conscious and uncomfortable when a dining companion will hear my order and go “Oh wow, you’re being good today!” or some other ridiculous backhanded compliment that I’m supposed to feel so grateful for. Good lord, can’t I just be hungry for a nice big bowl of fresh greens once in a while, just like a normal human being? Jeeze.

posted on April 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm

43 On April 8th, 2008, q

I hate eating out because I still eat like a really picky pre-schooler, hypersensitive to textures, so people often suggest I have an eating disorder or say that they feel guilty eating if I’m barely touching my plate. It doesn’t help that adhd meds suppress your appetite. I still keep hoping I’ll finally outgrow it, but no dice.

It drove my sister crazy growing up because it felt like everyone felt the need to compare our eating habits, and, I mean, no one should suffer through being compared to someone else convinced that the bread on offer is actually a sponge or who can’t quite shake the conviction that the spaghetti monster is tickling their throat deliberately to make them gag. Fifteen years on one of my aunts still only talks about food, food, food, and keeps track of pretty much everything anyone has ever eaten in the past decade, how X or Y ate this last year, and now is ordering this other thing this year, which is bizarrely creepy I think, but sort of sad, too.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 3:05 am

44 On April 8th, 2008, Boudicca

I will never forget the time I went to Friendy’s with a few skinny girlfriends years ago. As a young, self-conscious “big girl” - it was the skinny girls who wanted to go to an ice cream parlor… in those days I would NEVER go to such a place for fear that someone would see me eating something like ice cream.

We sat down and they oohed and aahed over the big sundaes in the menu and went on and on about how they were all going to get the Reese’s Pieces sundae or a big banana split. I was happy to know that they were all up for a big splurge. When the waitress arrived and asked me first for my order - I, of course, ordered the giant Reese’s Pieces sundae. The skinny girls then ALL ordered a single scoop of vanilla. Ambushed… I sat there with a huge sundae in front of me while they barely touched their single, martyr-like scoops. I felt so horrible that i couldn’t eat any of mine and tried in vain to get them to eat some of the ostentatious offering… forcing it into the center of the table to make it look like we were sharing.

Total bitches!

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 9:19 am

45 On April 8th, 2008, Rachel

Too many women feel a need to “fix” their men.

Hear, hear… Brandon was semi-veggie when I met him and he did go totally veggie after we met, but it wasn’t because I pressured him to do so. It was partly because A. I buy the groceries and I don’t buy meat and B. He respects my spiritual beliefs.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 9:38 am

46 On April 8th, 2008, Abby

Eating out is annoying enough with girls (especially my mom who will constantly talk about how good she was - just yogurt for lunch - or how bad she’ll be when she gets some sort of dessert after the meal) but it’s getting to the point where everyone has to voice their oppinion.
On Saturday I went out to eat with my boyfriend since we wanted comfort food and didn’t feel like cooking, so I order fried mushrooms and a bowl of potato soup. Now, to me this seems like quite a bit of food and quite a bit of calories, but the waiter came back to the table at least five times to ask if I wanted more, and then acted incredulous each time I said this was enough. It’s understandable once, but more than that is plain rude.
I’ve also had women at grocery stores tell me I should eat the free cookie sample and at the same time complain about how fat they are.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 10:24 am

47 On April 8th, 2008, Quiwi

Oooh, Boudicca, they truly did set you up, I’m sorry you had to experience that. I mean, they even had the nerve to do you dirty in a place called Friendly’s, of all things! I would have twisted one girl into a ‘U’ and another girl into an ‘N’, and stood them up on the roof right before the word “Friendly’s”!
I’ll bet my next paycheck that they were feeling bad about themselves that day, so they decided to get their “Thank goodness I’m skinny!” fix at your expense. It’s stuff like that that makes me think that some thin people have ulterior motives when it comes to having their “fat friends” around. Like they’re some kind of accessory to make them look even better. Too cruel.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 12:04 pm

48 On April 8th, 2008, Sarah

Do the food choices of your friends consciously or unconsciously affect what it is you order?

Oh, my gosh, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I guess I would just say, all the time. All. The. Time. I usually order what I think will look “right.”

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

49 On April 8th, 2008, Ami

I get this way some times. My MIL, sweet as she is otherwise, has commented on my food choices before. If it’s a “bad” food it’s “That’s a lot of food!”, to which I usually reply that I’m only planning to eat half (or if I’m feeling empowered, a simple “Yes it is. Looks good too.) or if it’s a salad, dressing on the side (I don’t like my salads swimming) it’s “Oh, you’re being so good!” No, I’m not being “good”, I just wanted a salad because it’s hot outside and it sounded tasty. And furthermore who gave anyone the right to comment on my food choices? I suppose that is what gets to me most. People need to mind their own beeswax about other people’s food choices.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 4:00 pm

50 On April 8th, 2008, anonymous

I have changed my behavior in front of people more times than I can count. Here’s a recent story: I have friends, a married couple, who have entered this weird phase of being very diet-and-exercise conscious and have really begun to brag and evangelize about it lately, in a competitive “one-upsmanship” sort of way. I feel like the last “unbeliever” at church camp — like, sorry that I don’t want to develop anorexia again to validate your new obsession, “friend.” They invited me over for dinner and I made sure to eat something before I got there, so that I would seem “good” by not eating too much in front of them.

posted on April 8th, 2008 at 11:11 pm

51 On April 9th, 2008, Erica

I am studying for a masters in nutrition and that produces all sorts of weird comments/reactions from people who know what I am studying. People either (a) examine what I am eating in detail and make comments flattering or otherwise depending what is on my plate/tray or (b) make cracks about the food police and hide their food from me or (c) say something along the lines of “I know I shouldn’t be eating this but *insert justification*.

I was brought up that it was rude to comment on what people ate so I never do it. And it irritates me beyond belief that people either examine what I eat or presume I am going to judge what they are eating.

It has got to the point where I avoid going for meals with some people because I can’t deal with it.

posted on April 9th, 2008 at 11:20 am

52 On April 9th, 2008, Rachel

“I know I shouldn’t be eating this but *insert justification*.

I get this when I tell people I am vegetarian. Many immediately qualify their diet, saying stuff like “Oh, I try not to eat red meat” or “I’ve really cut down on my meat consumption.” I don’t know if they feel guilty about their meat-eating or if they feel they might offend me somehow by being a meat-eater.

posted on April 9th, 2008 at 1:25 pm

53 On April 9th, 2008, mccn

I must not eat out with people that much, because I don’t moderate my own eating in response to what others are eating - thanks in part to working on recovery of my own. But I did notice, at a bachelorette party I went to recently, that every single woman there was watching each bite of every other. Halfway through my lunch, I caught on, and at the end of the meal, I was the only one who had finished. The rest were eyeing me a bit hungrily and sadly - and I was feeling satisfied, energetic, and ready to keep talking art with the lady next to me. It was a weird, Twilight-Zone esque experience, to see the intense monitoring in action.

posted on April 9th, 2008 at 5:57 pm

54 On April 9th, 2008, sarah

I actually have a real pet peeve about waitstaff commenting on how much I’ve eaten. I’m usually a member of the Clean Plate Club, and I’m amazed by how often the server will make a remark like, “Wow, you really liked that!” or “Gee, you must’ve been hungry!” I mean, I’m paying you for this food — yes, I am going to eat it. Maybe these are actually benign comments and I’m just sensitive about my relationship with food, so I read too much into them, but they really get under my skin. I now actually sometimes leave a little something on my plate even when I could’ve eaten it, just to avoid a comment. Or if I want dessert and my boyfriend doesn’t, I’ll still try to play it off to the server like we’re sharing it. I don’t like feeling so ashamed of the way I eat, and I wish I could be braver about it.

posted on April 9th, 2008 at 8:42 pm

55 On April 9th, 2008, Rachel

Sarah - a few years ago, my mom and I went to a restaurant and shared a spinach/artichoke dip appetizer. When the waitress appeared to clear the dishes, she said “Wow, you two licked the bowl clean!” We did no such thing; we simply ate the appetizer we ordered. It both rubbed us the wrong way and we discussed it over the entire dinner. I went up to the manager afterwards and expressed my concern. All he said was, “Oh, no. X wouldn’t have said something like that in a mean way.” I tried to explain how nonetheless we received it in that sense, but he was totally dismissive.

I had never heard of fat rights at that time and I was also still in recovery from an eating disorder. The fact that I spoke up to a manager was a large step in itself.

posted on April 9th, 2008 at 8:55 pm

56 On April 10th, 2008, susan

I don’t feel at all self conscious in front of family, but in front of friends, yes. I HATE the “you’re being so good” comment! I try to order what I want, but sometimes give in to the social pressure to order a “healthy” entree. Most of my friends finish only half their food or less, no matter what their size.

People get defensive about things other than food. When people find out that we haven’t watched TV for 11 years, they immediately say, “Oh, I hardly ever watch TV”, as though our choice is a commentary on their viewing habits!

posted on April 10th, 2008 at 3:08 pm

57 On April 10th, 2008, Rachel

My family celebrated my brother’s birthday in February with a dinner out at his favorite Italian place. My mom and sister-in-law both began with the “Ohhh, I am so bad for ordering this” or “I’m trying to be good” kinds of comments. I interjected with “Uhh, food isn’t good or bad; it’s just food. Order what you want.” They were both a bit dumbfounded, as if it had never occurred to them food has no intrinsic moral value.

posted on April 10th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

58 On April 12th, 2008, Meg Thornton

I have to admit, I spent most of my teens and early twenties being petrified of people making snap judgements about me because of what I was eating, or how much I was eating or whatever. Then in my mid-twenties, I sat down and thought about things. I’m female, and I’m fat, so judgemental people are going to make judgements about what I’m eating whether it’s a minuscule bowl of iceberg lettuce or a double fudge sundae made with rum and raisin icecream. I’m going to have idiots deciding how I should eat no matter what’s in front of me. Given such a situation, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t, and can’t win either way. So why compete?

I should point out I have a competitive streak about a mile wide, and if I sense I’ve a fair chance of winning, I’ll be in there to the finish. But when the game is rigged, why bother playing? The social games of “femininity” and “good woman” are so grossly and overpoweringly rigged there’s no way of making them fair short of scrapping the entire culture and building it up again from scratch. Heads they win, tails you lose.

posted on April 12th, 2008 at 10:50 am

59 On April 17th, 2008, Jae

I don’t think I’ve ever tried to compete with my dining companions for least amount of food eaten, but I have definitely altered my choices based on who I was eating with. These days I don’t struggle as much as I used to, but I do still have a bit of a problem at work. I sometimes find myself trying to hide what I’ve actually eaten from my coworkers lest they see it is different or not as “good” as what they’re eating.

posted on April 17th, 2008 at 11:30 am

60 On April 18th, 2008, lactose intolerant lisa

I DEFINITELY used to do this. It has gotten better over time; but there is one specific instance that this story brought to my mind.

I lived and studied with a group of 17 people in an empty sorority house the summer I turned 17. We had communal meals, cooked for us by an excellent chef named Chase. Miraculously, that summer I was able to eat intuitively and healthfully, for reasons I have never been able to figure out, since before and after I have had such a hard time with my eating disorder. Perhaps it was that I was so physically and socially removed from my family, from my entire reality up until that point. Anyway, we often sat around and just talked to each other, and one afternoon, the conversation turned to food. We talked about how delicious Chase’s green chile enchilada casserole was, and how we always hungrily anticipated lunch during the last part of our seminar class. I remarked that I never could wake up early enough to have breakfast, so by 1 o’clock, I was starving.

“But you don’t even eat that much,” said a female friend.

“Yes I do!” I said, as I had always thought of myself as eating too much.

“But you never go back for seconds,” she said.

Well, I was dumbfounded by this. I had no idea how to reply. I was not even very close with this girl, yet she knew my eating habits so closely. It struck me as creepy then, and it strikes me as sad now.

posted on April 18th, 2008 at 7:28 am

61 On April 18th, 2008, Jesse

I know all about being the fat friend who isn’t allowed to order dessert because the skinny friend doesn’t. I wish I could say I’m over that, but I’m not.

posted on April 18th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

62 On April 18th, 2008, Laura

I like how honest this story is, but it doesn’t really mention how it is for younger women. Like high school. I’m in high school, and at a size 4, constantly feel pressure to lose weight. Why? Because all of my friends are a size 0 or 2. By walking towards the size 4 rack, I feel like I have “fat ass” tattooed on my forehead. I hate that, especially since I always feel like I need to eat less around everyone to prove that I do not actually eat tubs of lard with every meal.

But going back to the even younger point, it’s true. Our culture has gotten crazy about being “perfect”. I will never forget when I was babysitting my four year old neighbor and asked her if she wanted some ice cream for dessert. She looked straight at me and said, “No, thank you.” I asked her why, and she pinched her baby fat and said,”because I want to be thin.” And this little girl is the most beautiful child ever. I almost started crying right there, because that is what society has come to. She honestly believed that she had to be “thin”.

posted on April 18th, 2008 at 11:40 pm

63 On May 17th, 2008, sarah

I think I need to make a confession in this thread: recently, I was out to dinner with 5 other people; 2 other women and 3 men. Both of the women are very, very thin (natually so, I believe). They both happened to order salads; at this restaurant, dressing automatically comes on the side. Well, instead of pouring the dressing on their salads, they both proceeded to dip every bite they ate lightly into the dressing! Even as a 4-time Weight Watchers veteran, I was not aware that people did this. It was amazing to me that they *both* did it. And I was completely fascinated by it, I had to force myself to stop staring at them while they ate. Initially, I felt like maybe I was observing their competitive eating, but now I also feel like I should be ashamed of how much I was scrutinizing their behavior. I have to admit, as the biggest woman there, and the only one of the 3 who wasn’t eating salad, I felt a little awkward. Oh but, meanwhile, I was seated next to a not-skinny man who proceeded to devour his huge plate of tamales with relish and then power through dessert. You know he didn’t give a second thought to what anyone thought of his choices.

posted on May 17th, 2008 at 4:10 am

64 On May 17th, 2008, ShannonCC

I dip my salad! I get more dressing on each piece that way, LOL! I never understood how that’s supposed to be a diet thing unless you dip really, really lightly I guess. I don’t dip lightly But if anyone sees fat old me dipping my dressing, I’m NOT on a diet. I’m just trying to get yummy dressing with every single bite.

posted on May 17th, 2008 at 8:11 am

65 On May 17th, 2008, Rachel

Shannon - I used to dip too before the spray salad dressings came out. I’ve always hated having my salad drowning in dressing. I like the Paul Newman honey mustard brand.

posted on May 17th, 2008 at 1:02 pm