A fat Howl

15th February 2008

posted in Fat Bias |

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness…” ~ Allen Ginsberg

I want to talk about hypocrites.

No, I don’t mean the suits strolling the halls of Congress or the Bible-waving caricatures of brotherly love. No, not even the trolls who hurl venom through cyberspace with the assumption that humanity ought to be clothed in their status quo.

I’m talking that unspoken fraternity of otherwise intelligent and liberal progressives who champion social justice while stopping cold at fat discrimination.

Earlier this week saw me trudging into the graduate student lounge on campus. I’d put off reading an article for a class and the only copy known to mankind was to be found there. I normally avoid the lounge and not because of the sagging Goodwill uncomfortableness of the accommodations there. The program I am in accepts about 15 students a year into its fold. But the competition doesn’t end with an acceptance letter. It festers beneath the skin; it crackles loudly in an air of silence. It smacks of high school hierarchies and in-crowd cliques.

I claimed the wooden desk in the corner of the lounge, assumed invisibility and wished for headphones. Deep in concentration on the antebellum South, I could hear a gaggle of students across the room squawking like gossipy hens. It wasn’t until I got up to print did the conversation become clearer.

Male student: Let’s just send all the fat people to Iraq.

Students laugh. Unidentified voice mumbles a response about fat people being lazy and out-of-shape.

Male student: Oh, that’s okay – they all ride around in humvees anyway.

The inference, of course, is that we should socially cleanse society by sending all fat people to Iraq to die.

I wanted to march angrily across the room and call them out. I mentally debated whether I should interject. But I placated myself in silence. Being defensive while keeping your hostility in check is a fine line to tread in too-big shoes.

Class was starting soon and the simmering frustration boiled over as my six classmates and I piled into a small conference room. At least three of the students involved in the conversation – including the one who made the comment above – sat across from me as we waited for the professor.

“So, Adam,” I started as neutrally as I could muster. “What was that about sending fat people to Iraq?”

He tried to laugh it off. “Oh, we were talking about protestors and anti-war protestors and Kelly asked if there was a movement she could get behind and well, the conversation just went down from there…” he trailed.

“Yes, apparently it went really far down,” I said icily. “I guess liberal arts isn’t as liberal as I thought.”

“Uh, oh,” said another student. “I don’t think she found it funny.”

“No, I didn’t,” I said. “In fact, I don’t see it as very much different than telling a racist joke.”

Adam’s face registered shock. He stuttered a few words insisting it was just a joke when the professor walked in and started our class discussion on gender and racial discrimination in the antebellum South – the irony of which was lost to all but me.

Imagine, for a moment, if was said: “We should send all the blacks/Mexicans/Jews to Iraq.” Or, “We should send all the gays to Iraq!” Or, “We should send all the poor people to Iraq!”

Would it be a “joke?” Or would it be a racial and ethnic, homophobic and/or classist slur?

These kinds of progressive liberals don’t fit the mold of a bigot. Janus-faced, they cloak themselves in self-righteous intellect and hide under a veil of thin-skinned progressive enlightenment.

They lack the self-awareness other lesser-academically-degreed bigots delight in possessing. You know the kind: The jerks who deliver those drive-by verbal attacks with ease and just as casually detach themselves from the emotional heft left in their wake. The kind who hiss “fat bitch” or dispense unsolicited dieting tips as if spoon-feeding you your own medicine. I’m used to these kinds of bigots. I expect these kinds of low-level comments from people whose intelligence levels rival single-digits.

But are the two so very different?

When I was a fat kid, I’d turn on my tormentors with language, releasing the full extent of my expansive vocabulary like blows to the head. They’d stand befuddled, temporarily releasing me from the grip of their harangues.

As an adult, I despise and fear physical confrontation. To buffer and buoy the attacks, I write. I use language like currency, buying my way with a lexicon of rubies and gold. With writing, the tectonic plates shift, imbalances are leveled. It’s survival of the most articulate. I hide behind my bullet-proof vest of language and meaning.

Mostly, I write to keep from screaming.

But as M. Leblanc points out in her guest post at Shapely Prose, weight-based attacks and prejudices fester because we don’t scream. Fat people are picked on, discriminated against and verbally and physically harassed because too many fat people are complicit in their own social subjugation and subordination. We think we are failed thin people. We internalize the stereotypes and the hate and the prejudice. We believe we are worthless, that our fatness renders us second-class citizens, that once we Lose Weight, only then do have the right to self-respect and dignity.

We need to speak up. We need to point out hypocrisy and prejudice. We need to howl in the face of injustice and discrimination of any marginalized group of people, even if that cry stands on skinny legs.

Writing has its place, but so does screaming.

Click to Bookmark

This entry was posted on Friday, February 15th, 2008 at 2:32 pm and is filed under Fat Bias. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On February 15th, 2008, BigLiberty

said:

Hi Rachel,

I’m really glad you posted this. It reminds me of my own fight, within the so-called objectivist ranks of libertarians.

There, the comments are usually of the form, “We believe in personal responsibility. Therefore, fat people are responsible for their fat, and if they say they’re not, they’re just playing the victim.”

Of course this is ridiculous on its face. I’m a classical libertarian who believes that people should allow others to exercise liberty, which means allowing them to make their own body/moral/educational/etc choices, for good or ill, as long as they respect the liberty of others to do the same. Fat people aren’t “playing the victim;” in fact, regardless of whether or not fat is a choice or if it’s genetic (which, of course, we know it largely is), people should respect the right for fat people to be who they are. We’re not asking you to do a damn thing for us; i.e., us being fat costs you nothing. Therefore, lay off us.

The point is, there are bigots who masquerade as all sorts of different moral people. And maybe some of them just don’t understand what it is they’re saying, and haven’t had the contrast between what they’re saying and their own purported beliefs pointed out.

We each have an opportunity to effect change within our own political ranks, and we should each speak up. Discrimination and bigotry is not the monopoly of one particular party over the others. It’s everywhere. That doesn’t mean we have to reject our affiliations, it just means that there’s ignorance and misunderstanding to fight.

Thanks for the great post, Rachel. Extremely well-written and timely.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm

2 On February 15th, 2008, envsci

Thank you so much for this post. I finished my doctoral degree in ecology at what is often thought of as the most liberal public university in the country (world?). I was surrounded by folks dedicated, at least in their minds, to doing the right thing - being environmentally and socially conscious, tolerant, etc. Although I can also relate to the extremely competitive grad school environment, at least out of class, we were mostly a friendly group. However, this same group, that would lobby on behalf of gay marriage (or refuse to marry until gay marriage is recognized), non-genetically altered food, environmental justice, etc., also had a deeply ingrained bias against fatness. Partly this came from being a group of nature lovers where even traditionally non-competitive activities like hiking and camping became a contest to see who could be the most outdoorsy resulted in an obsessive approach to exercise (attached to the idea that fat people must not exercise), partly it came from the lack of diversity in this particular branch of science (the variety of body types being pretty small), but it also came from a simple unwillingness to see that fat discrimination even exists or belongs in the same category as racism or any other form of discrimination. It makes me really sad when people with such a willingness to challenge the status quo on many other issues refuse to see fat discrimination in the same light.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 3:12 pm

3 On February 15th, 2008, pennylane

I work in academia and have fuming moments about my colleagues (though my confrontational courage is tempered by being pre-tenure). My favorite was a discussion in which they compared the weight of two of the candidates and suggested that the pudginess of one of the candidates was an indication that he was a sloppy individual. Ugh. It did give me pause in terms of what they likely said when I was interviewing.

And, I would add, I have heard my female colleagues–self-identified feminists–refer dismissively to women with eating disorders in the context of a student who was coming back to campus after in-patient treatment. It was truly grotesque.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

4 On February 15th, 2008, Paul

This is an excellent post, Rachel.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

5 On February 15th, 2008, Des

God this was really a great post and its such a coincidence that I was having a similar conversation with someone close to me.

We were discussing a “joke” that appeared in a newspaper here in Puerto Rico and one of the lines said “If they can get their clothes for cheaper why does it seem that overweight people are always wearing the same thing?”

I was offended by it and she didn’t seem to understand why, so I told her to replace “overweight” with any race or gender to see if she still found it funny. She didn’t give me a straight answer but at least she got my point.

I think that fat people have been silent about these issues for too long and we need to start speaking up and not letting this horrible messages slide.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

6 On February 15th, 2008, caseyatthebat

This demonstrates really well the internal struggle that those of us who can no longer remain silent deal with. Trolls are easy to identify and dismiss, but bigotry in peers or in people that we otherwise admire is difficult to confront, and it requires both guts and certainty. Since you did not respond in anger (though that would not have been entirely inappropriate, IMHO), you probably caused them to focus more on the impact of their words than on your displeasure with them.

“Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes”
Maggie Kuhn

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 4:22 pm

7 On February 15th, 2008, kira

Rachel, thanks for sharing this. I agree that fat discrimination is one of the few types of discrimination that is still unrecognized by most people, even those presumably most self-aware, intelligent, progressive, and liberal.

Envsci - thanks for sharing your experience as an ecologist. I’m also an ecologist currently working on my doctoral dissertation, and while I’ve only rarely experienced blatant discrimination from other scientists in my department or in the field, I often have a sense that people just don’t understand me and why/how I look the way I do. The vast majority of people in this field tend towards the fit or even the underweight - I’ve met few enough other overweight ecologists that I can count them on one hand. Although as scientists and students of the natural world we’re taught to recognize and appreciate natural variation, and as ecologists we’re taught to see humans as a part of nature - vs. something distinct and elevated above “mere” animals - many of my fellow ecologists don’t seem to recognize the natural variations in body type and metabolism.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 4:28 pm

8 On February 15th, 2008, envsci

Kira - It’s great to hear from others in the same field, as I agree with you, I can count the number of fat ecologists that I know on one hand. I also rarely experience blatant discrimination, but also get that feeling of being misunderstood - an oddity. It is particularly strange given the actual content of the subject and the appreciation (and celebration!) for natural variation. I’ve been happy to see some in the ecological community develop groups that meet, for example, at annual meetings around LBGTQ issues, and have often wondered if it would worth creating a community.

I guess that speaks to a larger question I have of Rachel and others - which is where to we go from this basic recognition? I know this gets into larger FA issues, but I am also wondering how we work on this particular challenge of what it seems to me is opening the minds of people who already consider themselves opened (not sure of the best way to say that).

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

9 On February 15th, 2008, stefanie

I am old enough to remember the first “consciousness raising” groups on my campus. Sometimes they were called by their even older name (from Maoist China) - “speaking bitterness.” It’s the same thing now as then. If you speak out, you’re seen as rude, confrontational, abrasive, “a bitch.” Well, yes. It’s a painful process for all concerned. But it was great that you called those people on it, even though it was uncomfortable for you. That’s how it starts, one person at a time - one truth at a time.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 5:11 pm

10 On February 15th, 2008, Christina

Amen. I was in an independent bookstore in Berkeley the other day when I saw a postcard reading, “Plants and animals are disappearing to make room for your fat ass.” This conflation of the rich and irresponsible with fat people is… well, misguided at best.

Thank you for writing this.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 5:13 pm

11 On February 15th, 2008, Tari

Right the fuck on!

This is totally my pet issue - the PC-yet-fat-hate-spewing liberals. I’m the only fat activist in my (all alternative, mostly activist) close circles, and sometimes when I go off on a rant about something fat-related, the same people who would be cheering me on if I was ranting about anti-capitalism or something green or anti-war…look at me like I’m trying to grow a second head.

What drives me even crazier is the way some will get it halfway: “Oh, I guess fat people *are* people and shouldn’t be harassed and shafted left-right-center!” but then just spew pro-diet talking points laced with judgment and assumption anyway.

Nothing for it but to keep trying.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 5:50 pm

12 On February 15th, 2008, Lindsay B.

What you said about those of us who don’t scream back…it reminded me of this quote from a comic. I wrote it down because it fits me so well, and describes part of why I don’t focus on retaliating against those who slight me:

“Your kind always underestimates ours. You mistake good manners for timidity, you mistake self-control for passivity. So self-controlled are we that sometimes we don’t retaliate if you harm us. But if you- ANY of you- harm our lovedones, we will come at you like fanged beasts from the darkest of LSD nightmares.”

Basically, I think of myself as having a quiet strength. I can overcome insults hurled at me, I can get over the sting that comes with mockery, and I can smile in the face of someone who “means well” but says hurtful things about my weight. In the face of someone going too far with me, or going after a loved one with such hatefulness, however, I’ll bite back so fiercely that “they” will have no clue what hit them.

Sorry for the rant. ^^;

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 9:08 pm

13 On February 15th, 2008, Lindsay B.

Sorry for the double post, but also pertaining to liberals being so judgemental… Yeah. I was sitting in the student center the other day, and overheard a girl mentioning, “You know that story by Johnathan Swift? The one about eating babies?”
Her friend replied, ” ‘A Modest Proposal’?”
“Yeah! That one! I’m thinking about getting into writing satire. My first idea has to do with, like, everyone overeats and gets super-fat. Like 400 lbs. And then, healthcare isn’t a problem, because they all die early, and airplane fuel costs aren’t a problem, because none of them can fit on a plane, and blahblahblah”(I stopped listening after a couple minutes, but she continued on with the concept for a while with her friends nodding and agreeing). She finished with, “Maybe if I write that, people will understand, like, why it’s important that we stop letting the right-wing conservatives run important things like healthcare.”

…Yeah. Because “A Modest Proposal” is comparable to that load of unresearched, uneducated garbage.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 9:12 pm

14 On February 15th, 2008, HeatherRadish

Interesting.

I hear people bash Christians, conservatives and “the rich” more than I ever hear people bash fat people. “Send Bush’s daughters to Iraq” is OK, even as “send the fat people to Iraq” is not?

Plenty of stereoptyping and bigotry; not sure why one is correct and one is not.

posted on February 15th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

15 On February 16th, 2008, Melissa

Rachel

I’m glad you decided for a confrontation, it made me proud and smile as I read it.
I also wanted to thank you for commenting on my blog because I had some very misinformed inforomation on there.
If I hadn’t been visiting so many intelligent blogs here I wouldn’t have been learning so much about people and fat hate and about myself.

So speaking up does work- I listened! Maybe I was more open than most people because I was heading in that direction from reading the blogs, but you never know how many people will be listening.

Take care!

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 1:43 am

16 On February 16th, 2008, MrsDrC

I hate you had to deal with this, but love how you handled it. This is an awesome post.

This strikes to memory for me stories of WWII. How many young people were taught by the Nazi’s that Jewish people were, stupid, lazy, GENETICALLY inferior? And this was all called “science”. Half that crap probably had more of a leg to stand on then most of the fat phobic “science” (funded by the diet industry)that we are subjected to each day.

Should all fat people be forceably sterilized too? Because we all know I have no right having any kids! It’ll be hard to find a hospital that can handle my “high risk” (fat ass) pregnancy. That’ll cost the skinny tax payers a lot. And we all know that I’ll feed my kids McDonalds and twinkies everyday no matter how much they beg me for fresh fruits and vegitables. I have no right being a parent, let alone ruining the view for some fat phobic “liberal”.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 7:27 am

17 On February 16th, 2008, Mickey

“Writing has its place, but so does screaming.”

Hell, so does body-checking. May as well get the benefit of the extra bulk!

*has lovely visions of body-checking a hypocrite while screaming “Kiss my fat ass!”*

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 12:03 pm

18 On February 16th, 2008, Mickey

@HeatherRadish: I personally don’t consider it any more correct, especially as I’ve known and loved people who fall into all three categories. Usually when airing my political gripes, I try to confine it to an administration, a movement, or specific people.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 12:04 pm

19 On February 16th, 2008, Alice

Rachel, thank you. There’s lots more to be said on this, and lots of intelligent comments above that go into the detail that my brain isn’t supplying at the moment, but I just wanted to say thank you for speaking up, eloquently, since it gives me one more example that will hopefully help me get past my own fear of confrontation.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 12:17 pm

20 On February 16th, 2008, Chartreuse

What a great post. The same situation happens in medicine: everybody is entitled to respect and understanding of their health situation, except fat people. Because it’s all their fault. As a medical student, I’ve made a conscious decision this year that I’m no longer going to ignore offensive comments, I will respond to them each and every time because the status quo isn’t acceptable.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 1:18 pm

21 On February 16th, 2008, Zmama

As a proud liberal, I find it frustrating as well to see comments like this. There’s no excuse for it, no matter how you define your political self as. A fellow mother I was hanging out with, who also wore the liberal label, said some “complimentary” stereotypes about certain ethnic groups while bashing a few others during one playdate.

We don’t get together any more.

I think it’s BS fat bashing is deemed ok by so many. But I do think there’s a huge need to educate about fat and health for so many out there - liberal, conservative, whatever. I may not have been a fat discriminator in the past but I sure was ignorant on health matters regarding larger people.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

22 On February 16th, 2008, Fat Girl

Thanks for this post. I’d love to see some suggestions as to how to speak up, though, because my biggest problem is that I can’t use words in the same way you seem to be able to. I really admire your eloquence! I just started my journey in grad school at Cornell and we’re certainly quite liberal and “accepting” and whatnot but I’m almost hyperaware of the massive amount of anti-fat sentiment there is.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm

23 On February 16th, 2008, Sarah

This was possibly the most eloquent portrayal of a situation that happens far too frequently. I am a graduate student and am shocked daily by supposed open-minded, caring individuals. Why does everyone else deserve respect, but I don’t? I am very vocal with anyone who judges me based on weight alone, but they never seem to get it. It’s a tough battle.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 2:24 pm

24 On February 16th, 2008, Sarah

Fair point, heatherradish.

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

25 On February 16th, 2008, red_delicious

I’m so glad you spoke up to that moron! You go Rachel, gold stars for the rest of your life!

posted on February 16th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

26 On February 17th, 2008, holls

Um, it IS the poor people who get sent to Iraq, though.

Not to hijack the point, but we are all in this together, something a lot of people seem to miss about FA (and other issues).

posted on February 17th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

27 On February 17th, 2008, Moonlight0806

I particularly don’t like people who follow up each rude and ignorant remark by declaring that it was only a joke, and that anyone that complains lacks a sense of humor. As if declaring something a joke can negate all of the social significance and historical value behind it.

The other commonly thing that i ran into during college was when someone would tell you about their wonderful life and privileged upbringing and then state that since they didn’t personally experience a issue that it must not exist. There are so many people that think that their lives are the norm and it blinds them or allows them to dismiss others that have had actual negative experiences with social standards. My most memorable moment was in a anthropology class where a female student declared that her family was very progressive and her mother and grandmother had gone to college, and that she herself had never felt pressure to conform to feminine ideals, so she declared that sexism no longer existed and that anyone that said otherwise was just complaining to get special attention. Then i pointed out that her experiences were not necessarily the norm and that I was the first female in my family that had gone to college and had been discouraged to do so by my family members because they wanted me married and pregnant by the age of 20, i found out she made it a point to walk around our campus and tell anyone that would listen that i was a bitch (it was a small school). Which in the long run didn’t matter because anyone that was willing to listen and agree wasn’t worth my time anyway. But people like that help extend the out of sight out of mind mentality that leaves problems to grow wildly and completely unchecked.

posted on February 17th, 2008 at 5:15 pm

28 On February 17th, 2008, Rachel

I’d love to see some suggestions as to how to speak up, though, because my biggest problem is that I can’t use words in the same way you seem to be able to. I really admire your eloquence!

I probably should have mentioned that I was sitting on my hands to keep them from shaking

Speaking up is hard to do. And I often think of the most brilliant responses long after the confrontation. I would never sit by as someone made a racist joke without commenting, but somehow calling people out on their fattist comments is still hard for me. But you know what? It gets easier each time I do it. And there’s nothing like the rush of empowerment I feel after doing so.

posted on February 17th, 2008 at 8:22 pm

29 On February 18th, 2008, MSeeger

When I was attending a school for comic art (had to drop out because of matters beyond my control), I would spend lunch in the classroom. There was usually someone else in there with me who would skip meals because he wanted to work on his homework, but one day, someone else from my class spent the hour in the lunchroom too. I was busy checking my usual websites for updates, when I heard a sliver of conversation between the two other kids in the room.

Kid one: (discussing women/partners/arm candy… these are comic artists, after all) “I should (look for/date) an anorexic. You don’t have to pay for food (snickers to himself over his hilarious one-liner)!”

I wanted to get up and smack his head into the desk for saying something so profoundly mindless. Well, not that it would help, but my word. I mean, when did it become the style of the century to utter such thoughtless, inconsiderate statements as if they didn’t effect anyone?

What pisses me off the most is that it’s not that people like him don’t realize the severity of statements like that, but that they just don’t care. People like him are selfish. That’s what statements made by your guy and my guy boil down to: being too selfish to see beyond their own noses.

On a somewhat related note, I concur with Fat Girl. I don’t know if it’s the ADHD, or just a lack of confidence, but I can never think of what to say in time to say it.

HOW DO YOU DO IT, RACHEL? DO YOU PERHAPS DRINK NEW, HYDRATING VOLVIC REVIIIVE? IT’S GOT HANDSOME VOLCANO ROCKS AND BIRDS THAT LIKE A FRUIT FLAVOR WHEN THEY’RE HYDRATING, THAT’LL HELP KEEP YOU ALEEEERT!

posted on February 18th, 2008 at 1:31 am

30 On February 18th, 2008, Meowser

I think my response would have been something like, “You know, dude, progressives really don’t have that many people on their side that they can afford to alienate people who would otherwise agree with them just because they don’t look right to you or you think they have bad habits. I mean, you don’t WANT millions of people to sit on their hands during the next election and risk electing another Republican because people like you think you’re superior because you’re thin…do you?”

But yours was pretty rad, too.

posted on February 18th, 2008 at 4:01 am

31 On February 18th, 2008, Sarah

HeatherRadish: Probably because the people you listed actually deserve criticism most of the time. Conservative Christians engage in the same type of bashing that fat-haters do, but the difference is that they use the Bible to justify. So yeah, I’m gonna say something about that.

posted on February 18th, 2008 at 5:56 am

32 On February 18th, 2008, Sarah

However, I will be balanced in my observations here:

Fat hatred is rampant in the progressive community. For example - I was trying to read and give out comments concerning the country of Denmark, its level of happiness, and its social system. And guess what the comments boiled down to?

“Denmark doesn’t have fat women waddling around the big box mall with ice cream in hand!”

“Danish women don’t get fat after marriage! That is why everybody is so happy!”

I refuse to visit four of the most popular liberal blogs because of their level of hatred toward fat people - especially fat women. It’s shameful and embarrassing.

So, I guess I CAN agree with HeatherRadish on some of her points, because any type of juvenile insult I see toward conservative women tends to be about how “fat” they are. I cringe whenever I see an insult toward how “stupid” and “fat” Middle America is.

Progressives need to get off their self-righteous high horses and start embracing the philosophy of equality they spout about all the time.

posted on February 18th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

33 On February 18th, 2008, Meowser

Sarah, the comments you got just reinforce what I’ve always believed: If only men ever got fat and all women were thin — even if every single man was fat — we wouldn’t be hearing boo about any so-called “obesity epidemic.” It’s all about “how dare women have a life and purpose outside the home, and how dare they eat their fill.” Fat men only get criticized because being fat makes them look “too feminine,” so if we took that away the men could all be as fat as biology would allow and no one would say a word. And of course all the “childhood obesity” palaver is implicit criticism of women, too, for not doing a good enough job of making nutritious home-cooked meals and making kids eat all their vegetables.

posted on February 18th, 2008 at 9:43 pm

34 On February 19th, 2008, apophenia

It seems so strange that they can’t realize that hatred of fat women is hatred of *women* in general. Period.

posted on February 19th, 2008 at 11:41 am

35 On February 28th, 2008, Nicole

Since we are talking about hypocrisies, I hate it when people say they aren’t sizeist but hate skinny people (it’s not in this article, but I’ve got to get this off my chest).

I’ve had people ask my weight, eating patterns, size, grab my wrists to see if they could fit their fingers around. And these are total strangers! When was overweight (by my own doing, not genetics Oreos are not genetic) and was not treated so poorly.

I also hate it when companies are trying to appeal to “every women” but say things like “beauty isn’t a size 2″ and “real women have curves.” I genetically have no curves, so therefore I must not be a real woman. I stopped buying Dove products, which I used to buy exclusively, because of that. Or JC Penny advertises “something for every body” (body being your physical self). And they only carry sizes 34-42 A-DD (because we all fit in there right).

Sorry, had to rant.

posted on February 28th, 2008 at 8:15 pm

36 On February 29th, 2008, BigLiberty

^Nicole,

I completely agree. I don’t like those “real women have curves”-style campaigns either. And to assume that “real women” are defined in ANY way relating to how they look, and esp. how much (or little) fat they have on their body — is despicable.

When I was gaining weight after a long starvation regime, I went to a friend’s house for a birthday party. Her mother said: “Oh good, you look so much better, your cheeks are filling out.” I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean that I looked healthier, but rather, better because I was bigger (they were anti-skinny folk). That’s just as bad as when my dad commented, “Oh, you look great!” after I’d lost 80 lbs through starvation.

I wonder about your “Oreos are not genetic” comment, however. I’m curious, do you believe in a genetic component to weight? While it’s true some people push themselves over the middle range of their setpoint with such eating disorders like binge eating disorder, it’s as difficult as pushing yourself well below your setpoint range via dieting/semi-starvation/starvation. I.e., not every overweight/obese person can’t lay off the junk food. Just thought I’d make that point, if that’s not what you were implying, I apologize! It’s hard to really know what people are saying in comments sometimes, since, in the end, it’s just text.

posted on February 29th, 2008 at 10:41 am

37 On February 29th, 2008, Rachel

I don’t think you need to have an eating disorder to push yourself over your set point weight range, and I actually think it is easier to go above your set point range than it is to go below it, owing to our body’s natural and evolutionary inclination to store body fat for time so famine.

Nicole - I and the bloggers in my circles don’t like those sort of discriminatory promotions, either. Several months ago, I wrote about and later met a plus-size designer who promoted her line as clothes for “real women.” After explaining to her how awful this must sound to a naturally thin woman, she agreed and stopped using the tagline. I don’t think her promotion was meant to disparage naturally thin women so much as it was to combat the airbrushed, size double-zero models who make up the one percentile of American women, but once she was made aware of the negativity, she saw the light, so to speak.

posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:06 pm

38 On February 29th, 2008, BigLiberty

“I don’t think you need to have an eating disorder to push yourself over your set point weight range, and I actually think it is easier to go above your set point range than it is to go below it, owing to our body’s natural and evolutionary inclination to store body fat for time so famine.”

Sorry Rachel, I thought the idea of the setpoint ‘range’ is that it takes a lot of work to push beyond the upper and lower limits of the range? That’s the definition off which I was basing my statement.

Also, you’re right: one could push themselves beyond their range intentionally, like in “Super Size Me.” However, it would be as physically and psychologically uncomfortable as semi-starvation, I’d imagine. The nature of a setpoint range is that, barring anything external, one returns to it “naturally,” i.e., it’s the most comfortable way of being. (disclaimer: I’m not a biological scientist, so I’m sure one could describe it a lot more precisely!)

posted on February 29th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

39 On May 19th, 2008, Sticking up for ourselves » The-F-Word.org said:

[...] their weight-based treatment of me or others. On those few occasion I’ve done so - read about one here - my hands shook and my legs quivered, but I left the experience with a feeling of superwoman [...]

posted on May 19th, 2008 at 2:40 pm