In defense of the cupcake

I recently interviewed my childhood friend Summer, now a pastry chef at a prominent local restaurant, for a profile piece in my paper. Summer’s signature dessert is a flight of cupcakes, featuring five distinct and delectable mini treats. After sampling her vegan chocolate cupcake with cream cheese frosting, it occurred to me that I felt absolutely no guilt in eating it – none whatsoever – nor did five pounds magically appear on my ass.
Last week on The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet, much was made of my healthy and balanced lifestyle. And, I consider my diet to be very healthy – my husband and I are vegetarian, we avoid trans-fats, high fructose corn syrup and most processed foods, we eat local and organic. And because I am vegetarian, I probably get at least the recommended amount, if not more, of fruits and vegetables a day.
We also heard from Dr. Jennifer Ashton, who ironically concluded a segment purportedly on fat acceptance with tips on how not to get fat – specifically, avoid “white foods” and don’t drink your calories. And of course, we also heard from publicist-turned-obesity-fanatic MeMe Roth, who, in the past, has likened cupcakes to giving kids antifreeze or loaded guns.
But a healthy diet doesn’t preclude “white food” or even worse, a cupcake every now and then.
Unlike some self-appointed food cops, I see the occasional cupcake very much a part of a healthy diet. Sure, cupcakes are loaded with evil white foods like sugar and flour. Even worse, the frosting is most likely a mix of even more sinister and pallid foods – Crisco and powdered sugar.
But it isn’t that the cupcake itself is healthy. Rather, de-personifying foods as “good” or “bad,” as well as a refusal to measure our self-worth by the foods we eat are integral steps in developing a healthy relationship with food.
One of the most difficult obstacles I had to overcome in my eating disorder recovery is the black-and-white thinking about food – the classification of foods as “good” and “bad.” There are healthy foods and unhealthy foods and there are good food-related behaviors and bad food-related behaviors, but food itself is neither inherently good nor bad.
All foods in moderation can be part of an overall healthy and balanced diet, regardless of how much you weigh. Yes, even the insidious cupcake.
Anyone who has ever attempted dieting or who has struggled with an eating disorder probably has stories of That One Food they’re not allowed to have, but endlessly obsess over and crave. For bulimics and others with binging disorders, falling off the diet wagon and indulging in “bad” foods usually triggers binging episodes of the kinds of “bad” foods sufferers have long denied themselves. I mean, who binges on carrots, right?
And as eating disorder therapist Matthew Tiemeyer reports, when parents label foods as bad and off-limits, or ban certain foods outright, the practice is usually bound to backfire. Not only does restricting food increase the desire for the food, it also encourages binging and eating in secret.
Anne Lamott writes of this concept in one of her memoirs. After revealing her favorite binging food – M&Ms – Lamott’s therapist advised her to buy a bag and keep them around the house to indulge in whenever she pleased. Lamott soon found that not only did she not devour the entire bag immediately; she learned to self-regulate herself because she knew M&Ms were no longer a “bad” food.
Kate, too, has come to realize the importance of “legalizing” foods and in eradicating the diet mentality of deprivation. Writes Kate:
But the one thing I know for sure is that the more I eat what I want and just let it go, instead of moralizing about it… the less I fear I am on the brink of devouring the WORLD. And the less I eat myself sick. And the more I eat nutrient-rich food because I crave it. And the more I can truly distinguish feelings of hunger from feelings of deprivation.
Dispelling the idea of “good” and “bad” foods is a pretty radical notion for many people and it’s not one I’ve completely mastered myself. While I rationally know that I couldn’t possibly eat my weight in Robin Eggs, every Easter I still try to avoid them nonetheless.
But in studying food culture, I have come to realize that food is so much more than sustenance – food defines celebrations, it unites and strengthens family and community bonds, it helps create and reinforce a common identity amongst groups of peoples. You don’t only break bread with people, you break barriers between class, race, and gender divisions.
A healthy relationship with food requires us to separate how we feel from what we eat. We are not “good” if we order the salad, nor are we “bad” if we order the pizza. What we eat defines who we are no more than the numbers on the scale determine our self-worth.
Go ahead and indulge in the occasional cupcake. I guarantee you that it tastes oh, so much better without a side of guilt.
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