CNN has debuted the first of eight CNN.com I-Reporters’ weight-loss stories. Over the next several weeks, the site promises it will reveal “their secrets, the defining moments that motivated them to lose a combined total of 1,167 pounds and how the weight loss has changed their lives.”
Yes, yes. How very nauseating.
Normally, a story like this wouldn’t even blip on my radar of things to post, seeing as the “I was so miserable before I lost weight and now I am so, very happy at a size 4″ stories saturate every women’s magazines, television shows and commercials, websites galore and even the daily news. But, as I prepare for my own July 25 wedding, something particular in this story caught my eye.
I think there must exist some sort of homogeneous weight-loss success story template all writers are mandated to use. The regurgitated stories all begin with a visual description of just how very fat, sad and miserable a person was because of their gigantic girth and end with the classic perky quote, “If I can do it, anyone can.”
I would have expected CNN to have higher standards that this, but I would assume wrong.
CNN’s story is no different, illustrating how wretched poor 227-pound Sharon Twitchell was at a size 22-24. Adding to Sharon’s misery, she reports, her ballooning weight was also wreaking havoc on her 31-year marriage. She says her husband was embarrassed by her weight gain and insinuated their sex life had all but disappeared.
But after losing 110 pounds to fit into a size 2-4, Sharon says weight loss has proved to be the proverbial magic beans, solving all her marriage-related woes.
“I have a marriage again,” said Sharon. “When I finally reached my goal (weight), my wedding ring was two sizes too big. I had already had it resized twice and the jeweler was hesitant that I might lose more weight. Rather than resize it, my husband bought me a new beautiful diamond ring and when he gave it to me he said this was a renewal of our wedding vows.”
Sharon says her husband keeps telling people that he’s got his wife back. This August, the couple will celebrate their 33rd wedding anniversary and say they couldn’t be happier.
Got his wife back? Oh, puh-leeze. It sounds as if Sharon’s husband doesn’t want a life partner, he wants a trophy wife. Perhaps the weight Sharon should have lost ought to have been her dead-weight oaf of a husband, whose love for her seems exponential to the numbers on her scale.
Was it so much of a renewal of the marriage vows, I wonder, than a divorcing of the old, fat Sharon and remarriage to the newly thin and “improved” Sharon?
Stay tuned to CNN.com for more nauseating tales of “As the World Turns… Skinny.”