A community divided…

14th May 2007

posted in Body Image, Fat Bias, Pop Culture |

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” Abraham Lincoln

Last week, Fatfu thoughtfully discussed the complex and symbolic-laden nature of fat identity, and what it means for different segments of society. After happening across this blog, 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat, I’m reminded yet again of the divisiveness and disgust for fat people that exists even within the fat community itself.

After reading just the latest entry, #64 Sleeveless Shirts, I’m filled with this incredible sense of melancholy for this woman, who’s disgust for her own body spans at least 15 years.

Because of the perceived need to “cover her blubber” KaraokeKitty, the blog’s author, has banned: tank tops, halters, camis, sleeveless, spaghetti straps, cap sleeves, shorts, swimsuits, and belly shirts – basically anything that makes the hot, muggy days of summer more bearable – from her wardrobe.

“There is nothing I hate more than a fat woman letting her arm blubber flap in the wind, protruding out from sleeveless attire!,” she writes. “I know a lot of heavy women that embrace their curves and love to show them off, but let me tell you honey, no one else likes to look!”

Yet, the limitations KaraokeKitty has placed on herself prove more confining than the very clothes she shuns:

“I look forward to the days of no banned clothing. Days when I can look into my closet and say, “What do I WANT to wear today?”, and not “What CAN I wear today that won’t make me look fat?,” she pines.

It must be so terribly awful to live your life with rules dictated by thoughts and actions of others.

Take a look at any successful movement throughout history – whether it be for a nation’s independence, women’s suffrage or black civil rights – and you will see strength in numbers, a sense of solidarity in that one group of committed people can and will move mountains. Yet, in the greater fat community, some members are so conditioned to hate themselves and their bodies, that they need to demean the very group they themselves are members of.

So, fat women everywhere: Proudly wear your tank tops, halters, cap sleeves and hell, even belly shirts if you wanna. Cast aside your long t-shirts shamefully hiding Ruben’esqe, bathing-suit clad bodies in protest. Toss away your inhibitions, your cultural prejudices and bask in the vitality and abundance that is your body.

Because, there’s nothing I hate more than a fat woman, letting her own insecurities flap in the wind, protruding out from shame and timidity.

Click to Bookmark

This entry was posted on Monday, May 14th, 2007 at 5:35 pm and is filed under Body Image, Fat Bias, Pop Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On May 14th, 2007, Kelly said:

I think it is such a crime how we tear each other down – skinny and fat.

There’s this woman who swims at the same pool I do and I so want to cheer her on. She’s probably about 250 lbs and swims backstroke and breaststroke for laps and laps. I don’t know if she’s trying to lose weight or if she just loves the pool, but I’m so glad she’s there and isn’t letting her weight stop her from doing what she likes. There are probably some who would wish she would cover up her extra pounds and hide herself away, like the woman you quoted, but I think it’s great and just wish there was some way to be encouraging without saying, “Hi, I’m overweight and I love to swim too. Yay us!”

posted on May 14th, 2007 at 6:28 pm

2 On May 15th, 2007, Kellie said:

It’s really hard not to self-loathe when you’ve been heavy for so long. It all starts with childhood and the non-acceptance of your peers. They jeer at you, call you names and you… being an insecure child, buy into their harsh words. You start to let the words become you. You begin to hate yourself.

I know how this blogger is feeling. It’s not glamorous to hate yourself. The problem is, she is continuing to downgrade herself and that isn’t the way to heal yourself mentally and begin to accept who you are… big body and all.

I am dealing with those issues. I still poke at my fat, grab my rolls, and look at myself in disgust. I’m working on it though. I’m working on it.

Great blog! I always find inspiration in your blog even if it is anti-weight loss. It’s always a good thing to accept yourself! Your blog is one i’d want my own daughter to read if she ever struggles with her body image.

Cheers!

posted on May 15th, 2007 at 8:49 pm

3 On May 16th, 2007, Rachel said:

Thanks for the kind comments Kellie.

Actually, my blog isn’t anti-weight loss, though I can see how it might come across that way. I am anti-diet, for sure, because I feel as if only by making a permanent and healthy change in your eating habits is the only sane way to go about losing weight.

I think it’s wonderful if women want to take charge of their health and lose weight – as long as they do it for the right reasons. Losing weight to become healthy is one thing, losing weight to conform to a culturally enforced and unattainable ideal is entirely another.

My overall goal with this blog is that women feel comfortable with their bodies and themselves – at any size.

posted on May 16th, 2007 at 2:50 am

4 On May 17th, 2007, Hope said:

I understand how the blogger feels too. Because it’s not only peers who make fun of you, sometimes it’s also your family. And if you live in a nuclear-family situation with no extended relatives for a “second opinion” about your worth, then who are you going to believe when you’re a little kid? Feelings of low self-worth and timidity start early and unless the child is lucky enough to find outside intervention (a loving relative, a smart teacher, a mentor, etc.). If not, then the child grows up trapped by a narrow mentality that’s difficult to break out of.

posted on May 17th, 2007 at 5:07 pm