Open post: “Am I a feminist?”

Amethyst22 wrote a very poignant wondering-out-loud kind of post this week on Feministing’s community blog that I thought would make for good conversation here.  She writes:

I’m a feminist.

I believe women are all beautiful no matter what their size shape or color.

But I can’t believe I’m beautiful.

I am an activist for women’s reproductive rights. I’m so proud of what I do and don’t care if others oppose my beliefs.

Why am I desperate for my parents to approve what I do? They never will. I’m ashamed to even talk to them about my activism–I fear their response.

I hate how women think they have to be thin to be beautiful.

But sometimes I don’t eat.

And sometimes I can’t stop eating, it’s like a drug and I am ashamed of myself.

I think the women in advertisements have been photoshopped to “perfection” and it’s sad that’s what we expect women to look like.

But sometimes I wish did look like them.

I’m a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman.

I don’t always believe it.

Am I a feminist?

I’ve identified as a feminist since the age of 12 and yet these are some of the same contradictions I struggled (and to a lesser degree, still do) with during my eating disorder.  I’m sure there are others out there who’ve also wrestled with these same kinds of inner conflicts.  Tell us about them and how you’ve managed (or not managed) to resolve them…