Happy Mother’s Day Mom – Thanks for making me fat!

It’s a bird, it’s a plane… no, it’s Super-Obesity-Fighting-Mom!

Able to scale tall buildings in a single bound, with a baby in one arm and a day planner the size of an encyclopedia in the other, she’s able to single-handedly eradicate the scourge of the evil obesity epidemic threatening the future of the civilized world!

Or, so according to National Action Against Obesity president MeMe Roth.

The self-appointed food police group called on mothers ‘round the nation to take charge of America’s obesity “crisis” this Mother’s Day, celebrated May 13.

“Studies show that if there’s a woman in the household, she’s making more than 90% of the food-buying decisions–whether that’s suggesting what to eat, writing a grocery list, or actually buying the food,” said Roth. “It’s Mother’s Day and, Moms, you’re in charge. This obesity epidemic is over when you say it’s over.”

Yes, because making women feel like bad mothers who are solely responsible for the growing girth and impending doom of the nation is exactly how we should celebrate mom for all her hard work and dedication in a culture that makes it increasingly difficult to rear children.

I’m sure Hallmark will soon have a card for that: “Happy Mother’s Day Mom – Thanks for making me so fat and ruining my life!”

The press release goes on shrewdly point out that the 30 percent of America’s children at risk for obesity and diet-related diabetes; with two-thirds of their parents already overweight and 50 percent of women of child-bearing age overweight.

Think about it: Two-thirds of parents are overweight. Doesn’t this signify that perhaps parents themselves don’t know proper nutrition? How, then are they supposed to pass such pearls of wisdom onto their children?

Or maybe, these statistics reveal that a larger body size might simply be genetic? In which case, breastfeeding your children until they teethe or banning soda to the furthest echelons of hell will do nothing to dictate the natural body size children’s bodies are programmed to reach.

The organization does give great tips, which form the core of a healthy relationship with food – don’t use food as a bribe, introduce kids to fresh veggies early and often, feed them whole food and not junk food – but the shaming of mothers on a day to celebrate motherhood is both demeaning and patronizing.

If condescending attitudes and smug messages about food and weight really worked, we’d have a nation of Twiggys milling around.